quick update

well, i guess i didn~t come to brazil with expectations. i knew i liked the food and that i would learn the language. i am really learing a lot about myself and making good friends. i have painted but not too much. to be honest, i have to really be in the mood. it~s not something i do every day. it~s like writing...you have to have something to say. sometimes i just don~t know where to begin. the longer i stay, the more i believe that home is where the heart is. i really do miss s.f. and friends. i don~t know if brazil is going to be a long term thing. i just crave change and travel, and i don~t see myself settling unless i find an extraordinary person to share my life with.


i have always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. i love being with a person and growing together and loving and being happy together. i hope he finds me :) i have so much to give, and i want more than anything, to share myself with someone who also shows me the same amount of respect and zeal for life. i have always been a happy person. i have my days... but i tend to attract people who suffer from depression, and i~m just over it. i want to be with someone who is happy as well, someone who shines like a beacon, and has a strong sense of self, doesn~t care what other people think and does his own thing, strong and proud. that~s the kind of man i want. honesty, sense of humor and intellect are obvious virtues.

i have not met any men here that i~m interested in other than physical attraction. i~m just not into empty hot making out sessions. that might change. you know, i change my mind daily. i have even kicked around the idea of going to durban, south africa for a while. just for something different. but i am living for free and brazil is cheap. i don~t know how long my living arrangement will last. the guy i~m living with, ivo, is really awesome and generous, but he does move around a lot too. one day he talks about staying in praia do rosa forever, the next, he wants to travel around brazil with me, the next, he wants to move back to london, or portugal, where he is from, the next day he wants to live in his dad~s flat in time square. his dad is really rich and has a bunch of huge houses everywhere. but i can~t keep up with his appetite financially, so i don~t know how long we~ll last as travel partners.

i am getting used to the bugs. if you can~t beat em, join em. seriously, there is no way to get rid of them. i went back to my old house to get a few things and animals had invaded. bugs, rats or mice, and spider nests were there. so i just deal. it~s cold here at night and sometimes during the day. i guess that is the only thing that really surprised me about living here. i thought it would be warmer, but i am in the south. and it~s winter.

i am happy and relaxed here. i am very very healthy, other than the amount of alcohol i consume :) but it is part of the lifestyle here. when in rome....

my headspace is really tranquil. i have all the time in the world to be at peace. i have no problems except some debt. i really am happy and i plan to be renewed by traveling in a new place in the future. i think once i have learned what i think i need to learn here, i will be on my way to explore other horizons. until then, i just take one day at a time and be grateful for this time i have been given to grow.