ok. a little stressed.

so after ivo was busted for buying stolen drugs to sell (yeah, who knew?) he skipped town and hid out for a while so he wouldn~t get deported, i imagine. then things started coming out . . . his house was never his. he was renting it. then he went and told our friend~s mom that everyone smokes weed all day and that another one of our friends sells blow. he lied about so many things, i would be a millionaire if i could collect a penny for each lie. he~s gone gone gone. picked up the rest of his stuff yesterday and went away. to i don~t know where. this is what i mean....friends, people i thought were my friends, are not who they say they are. who knows what is true about ivo. it~s very sad when people have to lie about who they are. the world must be a very lonely place for him.

i spoke with my landlady yesterday and she informs me two days before the month is up that my rent is going to increase by $400 reais for summer rates...which is $200 to us. so, i am moving. i know, i know, $200 is nothing to us americans. but here in rosa, it is a lot and i need to stick to a budget to make it to january when i return to california for work. so yes, i will spend the next day looking for a house to rent with my friend rogerio.

also, my gay friend is STILL mad at me. wanna know what i did? i joked that he couldn~t have a bite of the sweet treat i was eating. that~s all! he must be on his period or something. i~m going to let him have his tantrum and wait until he stops pretending he doesn~t adore me. :)

i charged my phone with lucy~s camera cord and found some old photos of TB. i haven~t visited her grave yet because when i see that cross standing in the yard, i start to cry. i miss that tubby bitch (hence, the name TB)

let~s see, what else can i complain about? nothing. but i need a massive round of applause for putting up with all this doing nothing for 6 months.

some new photos .. can't figure out how to delete doubles.

my walk to the beach, and an ode to TB, tubby bitch.

amor e sexo

brazil is brutally explicit. there is a show here called amor e sexo (love and sex) and they have questions to ask their guest stars. one of the questions is whether or not men force anal sex on women. this is a talkshow with a live audience. then they go to the streets to have people elaborate on their answers. this is how people responded:

men love ass
the ass is only for pooing
some people are afraid
it depends on the size of the ass
if he~s your husband, yes
you have to have style when you ask

there is another show called "programa do jo" (the jo show) which is the equivelant of david letterman. jo will be interviewing someone and asking the common questions; how did you begin your acting career, what is the most challenging part about being on the novela where you play an anorexic nymphomaniac....then their guest star shows off their new career being a nude model. and they show full frontal shots of the person for the entire live audience and millions of viewers. for being a 89% catholic country, they sure do make sex and nudity a top priority.

friend is a four letter word

yes, there are good things to say about brazil. but right now, i need distance to see those good things. one of the hardest parts about living here is making true friends. friends here do things that me and my friends back home would never do to each other. they steal from you, talk about you behind your back, sleep with your husband or boyfriend, and rat you out to the police. they will invite you over for dinner and the next day, arrange for someone to rob your house. i feel like the people here are not real friends.

brazil is a dangerous place to live. it is still a developing country. although people don~t have a lot of money, they are lazy and don~t want to work. they say they are going to do something and it takes months to come to fruition. i don~t agree with many of the ethics here....work ethics, relationship ethics, health, lifestyle, religion.....

today i~m letting it all go.

my new favorite music, dirtiness and other entertainment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY_L_rafEs0&NR=1

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/09/10/crimesider/entry5300372.shtml

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfndz8pW9WY&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkMGf2_NKvs my god, he is one of the most beautiful men on the planet.

catching up

so the big birthday surprise...

they all arrived at my house like gangsters ready to rub me out. they peered into my window and tapped with their fingers, unable to control their laughter. i locked the door pretending not to let them in but they assured me i was going to get it sooner or later. so i opened the door and they all filed in, rodrigo holding a single white candle, and they all sang happy birthday to me in portuguese. that was the surprise. it was simple and beautiful.

a lot has been going on and i have not been at the internet for a while. it has been closed because the owner~s pregnant wife has been in the hospital with the swine flu that has been killing people.

tb died. she was missing for about a week and finally lucy found her. a dog got her. i was at the beach when my friends told me and handed me her collar. i lost it. but they went back to burry her and on her grave, they planted a cross, hung her collar and a wreath of flowers. it was beautiful. tb had a good life and i~m glad she got to spend the rest of it romping around the jungle instead of pent up in an apartment in san francisco.

ivo was arrested for buying stolen property. whether or not he knew it was stolen, i don~t know. we are working on our friendship now due to some confusing miscommunication that all began with jujubee.

also, i think i will be moving out of my place at the end of the month and in with rodrigo and rogerio. they were kicked out of their house for smoking weed out front and making a mess of the trash in the back and letting all their friends use the washing machine...
i don~t want to live far from them so i will most likely move into a new house with them until my stay is up in brazil.

summer is approaching and the rain is still here. oh what i would do for a hot day.

i interviewed with the woman who supposedly wanted me to work at her salon, but she doesn~t have any equipment. i mean, no chair, no sink, nada. she is a manicurist. i don~t know what made her think i could work without these necessities. even if i did work here in brazil as a hair stylist, it would not be worth it. a haircut here in rosa is the equivelant of $5. i would rather go to sf and work and continue traveling. if i did work here as a stylist, i would have to go to sao paulo which is out of the question. why would i ever move to the most dangerous city in the country? (again...st. louis was the first)

i am hitting a new cycle of emotion/thought about living here. i am madly missing my friends. but i think these cycles are good for the book. the book series, if i have not mentioned it, will be called 8 and a half months. each chapter (or book, not sure) will be the story of how i lived in each place. i think 8.5 months is the perfect amount of time to get to know a different place, to really let the culture sink in, and to go through these cycles of longing, indifference, adoration and challenge.

and that~s catching up