well, i am back here in san francisco so my time in brazil has come to a close, finally. truncated but worth it. a third party accessed my bank account and it was locked, paypal was also locked. i loaned $300 to a friend without knowing he had a cocaine addiction and he never paid me back. my house was robbed, laptop and cables and chargers for phone and camera stolen, my cat died, i was poisoned as a joke, and my friend ivo ended up being caught by the police for stolen goods and ended up splitting town never to be seen again.
i learned how to cook some brazilian food, i learned that doing nothing all day is not an easy task for me. i learned to trust no one and be skeptical with people who say they are your friends. give personal information to no one. i learned to speak portuguese, that people, both good and bad, just want to be loved.
brazil was not what i had hoped... but that is the adventure.
tchau until the next trip.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
success
well, the living in brazil adventure has been completed. i am now back in sf, and brrrrr!!!!!
i lasted 7 months and i think i will be ready to live in another country as soon as i work a bit and save enough money to do so.
in summary, brazil is a beautiful land polluted by dishonest people. but not everyone is dishonest and lazy. there are few people who make up for the corruption of the country, and they give brazil the reputation of being a warm and generous country. people who have nothing will divide their food, their house, anything they can give you. the rest will tell you they are your friend and steal from you, do things that no friend would ever do.
brazil is a huge country with different dialects from state to state. the weather is hot and humid in the summer, cold and wet in the winter, it's tropical and rainy, pouring for a few hours then stopping to let the sun shine on.
there is a huge divide between the wealthy and poor, just like in the states. there is racism, just like in the states. the black people are looked down upon, and for this reason, they have been neglected the same opportunity to make a good life. most of the population in the favelas is black. there is also a prejudice against the poor. the rich don't even let them on their property....and unfortunately this is due to the poor being thieves.
rio de janeiro is somewhat of a facade. there is a beautiful quote on a website i have always turned to when i want to get emotional about brazil (www.hillerphoto.com/brazil/). stephen berkoff says, "Rio's biggest symbol is the figure of Christ that holds out his stiff, concrete arms to the world beneath him. Never was a symbol more meaningless. Never did his words mean so little to those below. Never in my life have I seen so little charity or compassion in any city where extreme wealth and unendurable poverty live side by side."
i think this quote sums up brazil perfectly.
if you want more, check out my yelp on brazil.
http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=G1DM_OyYFb32QylgvQGrGQ
i lasted 7 months and i think i will be ready to live in another country as soon as i work a bit and save enough money to do so.
in summary, brazil is a beautiful land polluted by dishonest people. but not everyone is dishonest and lazy. there are few people who make up for the corruption of the country, and they give brazil the reputation of being a warm and generous country. people who have nothing will divide their food, their house, anything they can give you. the rest will tell you they are your friend and steal from you, do things that no friend would ever do.
brazil is a huge country with different dialects from state to state. the weather is hot and humid in the summer, cold and wet in the winter, it's tropical and rainy, pouring for a few hours then stopping to let the sun shine on.
there is a huge divide between the wealthy and poor, just like in the states. there is racism, just like in the states. the black people are looked down upon, and for this reason, they have been neglected the same opportunity to make a good life. most of the population in the favelas is black. there is also a prejudice against the poor. the rich don't even let them on their property....and unfortunately this is due to the poor being thieves.
rio de janeiro is somewhat of a facade. there is a beautiful quote on a website i have always turned to when i want to get emotional about brazil (www.hillerphoto.com/brazil/). stephen berkoff says, "Rio's biggest symbol is the figure of Christ that holds out his stiff, concrete arms to the world beneath him. Never was a symbol more meaningless. Never did his words mean so little to those below. Never in my life have I seen so little charity or compassion in any city where extreme wealth and unendurable poverty live side by side."
i think this quote sums up brazil perfectly.
if you want more, check out my yelp on brazil.
http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=G1DM_OyYFb32QylgvQGrGQ
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
SHIT!!!!
i left my journal in curitiba. well, someone will know all my deep dark secrets. now i~m not sure WHAT to write.
tonight
did 120 in a convertible peugeot and ended up at a house so big i got lost. wasn~t my idea. what a glorious night!
rogerio and adoption
so i finally made it to rogerio's mom's house where i will be staying until my departure from rio. what happned was i waited at a bus stop for 6 hours because he told her the wrong time. no worries. yeah, i was just stranded in curitiba, a huge city in brazil with no way to access her or anyone i knew.
anyway-
she picked me up and i had the shittiest excuse for fast food i have ever had. went home and stayed up for a couple of hours talking with rogerio's mom, who is of course, dying of longing to see him. i tell her all the things he says and does, that he wakes up every morning singing, that he quit smoking, that he wakes up every morning at 6:30 to do lifeguard training, that he has so much respect for her becuase she raised her four kids in a hostel-like environment. he's grateful he is wise and has seen more in life than people his age, that he wants to be a good father because his wasn~t. he confided in me that he was adopted . he told me one night that only one other person knows and i, of course, was honored that he chose to tell me. he said he told me because he always admired how openly i admitted to being adopted to everyone. he is ashamed because everyone sayd he looks so much like his fater that he doesn~t want anyone to know. i told him it never entered my consciousness at any moment in my life to be ashamed about being adopted. he cried and told me he loves me like a brother (not a sister).
anyway-
she picked me up and i had the shittiest excuse for fast food i have ever had. went home and stayed up for a couple of hours talking with rogerio's mom, who is of course, dying of longing to see him. i tell her all the things he says and does, that he wakes up every morning singing, that he quit smoking, that he wakes up every morning at 6:30 to do lifeguard training, that he has so much respect for her becuase she raised her four kids in a hostel-like environment. he's grateful he is wise and has seen more in life than people his age, that he wants to be a good father because his wasn~t. he confided in me that he was adopted . he told me one night that only one other person knows and i, of course, was honored that he chose to tell me. he said he told me because he always admired how openly i admitted to being adopted to everyone. he is ashamed because everyone sayd he looks so much like his fater that he doesn~t want anyone to know. i told him it never entered my consciousness at any moment in my life to be ashamed about being adopted. he cried and told me he loves me like a brother (not a sister).
how you know you're south american
your jeans are either black or too tight
you love novelas
you are used to having one car per 5 people
sardines actually are considered fish
beans and rice are a staple meal
you bust out singing and dancing at any given moment
julio eglesias is a household name
you drink WHILE driving
a rock garden is a luxury
onions are vegetables
drinking at 9 a.m. is not an issue
ten kids? WHY NOT?
your family name is gomez, silva, jimenez, martinez, gonzoles or valenzuela
people in drag gettnig kicked and falling over on tv is funny
you love novelas
you are used to having one car per 5 people
sardines actually are considered fish
beans and rice are a staple meal
you bust out singing and dancing at any given moment
julio eglesias is a household name
you drink WHILE driving
a rock garden is a luxury
onions are vegetables
drinking at 9 a.m. is not an issue
ten kids? WHY NOT?
your family name is gomez, silva, jimenez, martinez, gonzoles or valenzuela
people in drag gettnig kicked and falling over on tv is funny
issues
after many issues, i am finally free and coming home. someone used my bank account and i was unable to access funds. . so for three weeks, i was without money. thankfully, i have friends who gave me a place to stay and food. my paypal account has also been "accessed by a third party" so i~m screwed. there was much drama over receiving transer funds that i won~t go into. all i can say is that i am really excited to be returning to the states, in hope for technology, quality, friends and familiarity.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Have You Been
Have you been waiting up for me?
Have you been talking to your friends about me?
Have you been watching me when I'm not looking?
Have you been hoping I will call?
Have you been missing our soft kisses?
Have you been looking at all our photos?
Have you been dreaming about me?
Have you been wishing we never split?
Have you been writing songs about me?
Have you been missing my laugh?
Have you been trying to remember my sweet scent?
Have you been closing your eyes and imagining me beside you?
Have you been seeing my face in everyone you meet?
Have you been doing all these things I have done?
Where have you been?
Have you been talking to your friends about me?
Have you been watching me when I'm not looking?
Have you been hoping I will call?
Have you been missing our soft kisses?
Have you been looking at all our photos?
Have you been dreaming about me?
Have you been wishing we never split?
Have you been writing songs about me?
Have you been missing my laugh?
Have you been trying to remember my sweet scent?
Have you been closing your eyes and imagining me beside you?
Have you been seeing my face in everyone you meet?
Have you been doing all these things I have done?
Where have you been?
Friday, October 30, 2009
ok. a little stressed.
so after ivo was busted for buying stolen drugs to sell (yeah, who knew?) he skipped town and hid out for a while so he wouldn~t get deported, i imagine. then things started coming out . . . his house was never his. he was renting it. then he went and told our friend~s mom that everyone smokes weed all day and that another one of our friends sells blow. he lied about so many things, i would be a millionaire if i could collect a penny for each lie. he~s gone gone gone. picked up the rest of his stuff yesterday and went away. to i don~t know where. this is what i mean....friends, people i thought were my friends, are not who they say they are. who knows what is true about ivo. it~s very sad when people have to lie about who they are. the world must be a very lonely place for him.
i spoke with my landlady yesterday and she informs me two days before the month is up that my rent is going to increase by $400 reais for summer rates...which is $200 to us. so, i am moving. i know, i know, $200 is nothing to us americans. but here in rosa, it is a lot and i need to stick to a budget to make it to january when i return to california for work. so yes, i will spend the next day looking for a house to rent with my friend rogerio.
also, my gay friend is STILL mad at me. wanna know what i did? i joked that he couldn~t have a bite of the sweet treat i was eating. that~s all! he must be on his period or something. i~m going to let him have his tantrum and wait until he stops pretending he doesn~t adore me. :)
i charged my phone with lucy~s camera cord and found some old photos of TB. i haven~t visited her grave yet because when i see that cross standing in the yard, i start to cry. i miss that tubby bitch (hence, the name TB)
let~s see, what else can i complain about? nothing. but i need a massive round of applause for putting up with all this doing nothing for 6 months.
i spoke with my landlady yesterday and she informs me two days before the month is up that my rent is going to increase by $400 reais for summer rates...which is $200 to us. so, i am moving. i know, i know, $200 is nothing to us americans. but here in rosa, it is a lot and i need to stick to a budget to make it to january when i return to california for work. so yes, i will spend the next day looking for a house to rent with my friend rogerio.
also, my gay friend is STILL mad at me. wanna know what i did? i joked that he couldn~t have a bite of the sweet treat i was eating. that~s all! he must be on his period or something. i~m going to let him have his tantrum and wait until he stops pretending he doesn~t adore me. :)
i charged my phone with lucy~s camera cord and found some old photos of TB. i haven~t visited her grave yet because when i see that cross standing in the yard, i start to cry. i miss that tubby bitch (hence, the name TB)
let~s see, what else can i complain about? nothing. but i need a massive round of applause for putting up with all this doing nothing for 6 months.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
some new photos .. can't figure out how to delete doubles.
my walk to the beach, and an ode to TB, tubby bitch.
amor e sexo
brazil is brutally explicit. there is a show here called amor e sexo (love and sex) and they have questions to ask their guest stars. one of the questions is whether or not men force anal sex on women. this is a talkshow with a live audience. then they go to the streets to have people elaborate on their answers. this is how people responded:
men love ass
the ass is only for pooing
some people are afraid
it depends on the size of the ass
if he~s your husband, yes
you have to have style when you ask
there is another show called "programa do jo" (the jo show) which is the equivelant of david letterman. jo will be interviewing someone and asking the common questions; how did you begin your acting career, what is the most challenging part about being on the novela where you play an anorexic nymphomaniac....then their guest star shows off their new career being a nude model. and they show full frontal shots of the person for the entire live audience and millions of viewers. for being a 89% catholic country, they sure do make sex and nudity a top priority.
men love ass
the ass is only for pooing
some people are afraid
it depends on the size of the ass
if he~s your husband, yes
you have to have style when you ask
there is another show called "programa do jo" (the jo show) which is the equivelant of david letterman. jo will be interviewing someone and asking the common questions; how did you begin your acting career, what is the most challenging part about being on the novela where you play an anorexic nymphomaniac....then their guest star shows off their new career being a nude model. and they show full frontal shots of the person for the entire live audience and millions of viewers. for being a 89% catholic country, they sure do make sex and nudity a top priority.
friend is a four letter word
yes, there are good things to say about brazil. but right now, i need distance to see those good things. one of the hardest parts about living here is making true friends. friends here do things that me and my friends back home would never do to each other. they steal from you, talk about you behind your back, sleep with your husband or boyfriend, and rat you out to the police. they will invite you over for dinner and the next day, arrange for someone to rob your house. i feel like the people here are not real friends.
brazil is a dangerous place to live. it is still a developing country. although people don~t have a lot of money, they are lazy and don~t want to work. they say they are going to do something and it takes months to come to fruition. i don~t agree with many of the ethics here....work ethics, relationship ethics, health, lifestyle, religion.....
today i~m letting it all go.
brazil is a dangerous place to live. it is still a developing country. although people don~t have a lot of money, they are lazy and don~t want to work. they say they are going to do something and it takes months to come to fruition. i don~t agree with many of the ethics here....work ethics, relationship ethics, health, lifestyle, religion.....
today i~m letting it all go.
Friday, October 16, 2009
my new favorite music, dirtiness and other entertainment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY_L_rafEs0&NR=1
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/09/10/crimesider/entry5300372.shtml
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfndz8pW9WY&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkMGf2_NKvs my god, he is one of the most beautiful men on the planet.
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/09/10/crimesider/entry5300372.shtml
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfndz8pW9WY&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkMGf2_NKvs my god, he is one of the most beautiful men on the planet.
catching up
so the big birthday surprise...
they all arrived at my house like gangsters ready to rub me out. they peered into my window and tapped with their fingers, unable to control their laughter. i locked the door pretending not to let them in but they assured me i was going to get it sooner or later. so i opened the door and they all filed in, rodrigo holding a single white candle, and they all sang happy birthday to me in portuguese. that was the surprise. it was simple and beautiful.
a lot has been going on and i have not been at the internet for a while. it has been closed because the owner~s pregnant wife has been in the hospital with the swine flu that has been killing people.
tb died. she was missing for about a week and finally lucy found her. a dog got her. i was at the beach when my friends told me and handed me her collar. i lost it. but they went back to burry her and on her grave, they planted a cross, hung her collar and a wreath of flowers. it was beautiful. tb had a good life and i~m glad she got to spend the rest of it romping around the jungle instead of pent up in an apartment in san francisco.
ivo was arrested for buying stolen property. whether or not he knew it was stolen, i don~t know. we are working on our friendship now due to some confusing miscommunication that all began with jujubee.
also, i think i will be moving out of my place at the end of the month and in with rodrigo and rogerio. they were kicked out of their house for smoking weed out front and making a mess of the trash in the back and letting all their friends use the washing machine...
i don~t want to live far from them so i will most likely move into a new house with them until my stay is up in brazil.
summer is approaching and the rain is still here. oh what i would do for a hot day.
i interviewed with the woman who supposedly wanted me to work at her salon, but she doesn~t have any equipment. i mean, no chair, no sink, nada. she is a manicurist. i don~t know what made her think i could work without these necessities. even if i did work here in brazil as a hair stylist, it would not be worth it. a haircut here in rosa is the equivelant of $5. i would rather go to sf and work and continue traveling. if i did work here as a stylist, i would have to go to sao paulo which is out of the question. why would i ever move to the most dangerous city in the country? (again...st. louis was the first)
i am hitting a new cycle of emotion/thought about living here. i am madly missing my friends. but i think these cycles are good for the book. the book series, if i have not mentioned it, will be called 8 and a half months. each chapter (or book, not sure) will be the story of how i lived in each place. i think 8.5 months is the perfect amount of time to get to know a different place, to really let the culture sink in, and to go through these cycles of longing, indifference, adoration and challenge.
and that~s catching up
they all arrived at my house like gangsters ready to rub me out. they peered into my window and tapped with their fingers, unable to control their laughter. i locked the door pretending not to let them in but they assured me i was going to get it sooner or later. so i opened the door and they all filed in, rodrigo holding a single white candle, and they all sang happy birthday to me in portuguese. that was the surprise. it was simple and beautiful.
a lot has been going on and i have not been at the internet for a while. it has been closed because the owner~s pregnant wife has been in the hospital with the swine flu that has been killing people.
tb died. she was missing for about a week and finally lucy found her. a dog got her. i was at the beach when my friends told me and handed me her collar. i lost it. but they went back to burry her and on her grave, they planted a cross, hung her collar and a wreath of flowers. it was beautiful. tb had a good life and i~m glad she got to spend the rest of it romping around the jungle instead of pent up in an apartment in san francisco.
ivo was arrested for buying stolen property. whether or not he knew it was stolen, i don~t know. we are working on our friendship now due to some confusing miscommunication that all began with jujubee.
also, i think i will be moving out of my place at the end of the month and in with rodrigo and rogerio. they were kicked out of their house for smoking weed out front and making a mess of the trash in the back and letting all their friends use the washing machine...
i don~t want to live far from them so i will most likely move into a new house with them until my stay is up in brazil.
summer is approaching and the rain is still here. oh what i would do for a hot day.
i interviewed with the woman who supposedly wanted me to work at her salon, but she doesn~t have any equipment. i mean, no chair, no sink, nada. she is a manicurist. i don~t know what made her think i could work without these necessities. even if i did work here in brazil as a hair stylist, it would not be worth it. a haircut here in rosa is the equivelant of $5. i would rather go to sf and work and continue traveling. if i did work here as a stylist, i would have to go to sao paulo which is out of the question. why would i ever move to the most dangerous city in the country? (again...st. louis was the first)
i am hitting a new cycle of emotion/thought about living here. i am madly missing my friends. but i think these cycles are good for the book. the book series, if i have not mentioned it, will be called 8 and a half months. each chapter (or book, not sure) will be the story of how i lived in each place. i think 8.5 months is the perfect amount of time to get to know a different place, to really let the culture sink in, and to go through these cycles of longing, indifference, adoration and challenge.
and that~s catching up
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
bday surprise
i am sitting alone in my house watching tv and doing my nails because my friends told me i can~t hang out with them. it~s the night before my bday and everyone is preparing a "surprise" which they describe as a brazilian tradition and that i~m screwed. i am imagining the worst. we went grocery shopping and i wasn't allowed to see what was in the cart but i heard the words mayonaise, eggs and flour. are they going to cover me with gooey food? or worse, are they going to make me eat some disgusting concoction? they think it~s hilarious that i~m kind of shitting my pants. they love to torture me. i told them if they make me eat feces and stip me and leave me in the middle of nowhere, i will never speak to them again. anything other than that, i can handle.
i don~t know what to expect and it~s killing me! i~m receiving no relief from ivo. he says, "oh yes, you~re screwed". honestly, i kinda like the attention.
i don~t know what to expect and it~s killing me! i~m receiving no relief from ivo. he says, "oh yes, you~re screwed". honestly, i kinda like the attention.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Now that the idea to travel to the Amazon has been threatened due to my great regard for my father~s wishes, I am wondering what I am doing in Brazil, if not for travel. Am I here to work and live? Find my birth-mother? Bump into love? Write a book based on my knoledge of traveling and living abroad? Am I just here to learn? To be introspective, to grow? To live a simple life of service? Is it just one long vacation? What on earth pulled me here and keeps me here? How did I arrive here and where am I going? And do these questions really matter?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
waiting
not much news....just waiting ... again.
ivo came to me last week and said "let's go to the amazon tomorrow". as always, i exclaimed "yes! with bells on!" i went home and packed, cleaned the house for a new tenant and gave all my food to the guys. now ivo says he doesn~t know if he can go.
i don~t know that it is safe or wise to go to the amazon alone. but i may just do it anyway. it~s an opportunity that i cannot miss.
ivo came to me last week and said "let's go to the amazon tomorrow". as always, i exclaimed "yes! with bells on!" i went home and packed, cleaned the house for a new tenant and gave all my food to the guys. now ivo says he doesn~t know if he can go.
i don~t know that it is safe or wise to go to the amazon alone. but i may just do it anyway. it~s an opportunity that i cannot miss.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
blah blah blah
so i~m pretty pumped about my new havaianas. my old pair finally broke after two years (not bad for a piece of rubber). my new havaianas are classic. the only colors made in the beginning were black and blue, with white on the top of the sole and the color on the straps and bottom of the sole. i have the blue.
in other news, i must look pretty local by now. on my way to the internet, i was offered a ride by a cutie. i said thanks but didn~t accept, as it has been engrained not to take rides from strangers regardless of how safe it is here in rosa. also, i was approached by an elderly argentinian woman who asked me for directions to the beach. i must look like i know the way. how far i~ve come from day 1.
i have two friends who want to visit in december. one is a brazilian with whom i traveled around brazil 8 years ago. the other is a turkish friend from san francisco. we met in sign language class. we may do some traveling together while he is here but he~s not sure about the duration of his stay.
and for mom anmd dad, my friend rodrigo wants me to tell you that even though i live alone, i am safe. there are 5 friends who live within talking distance of my house and we all take care of each other. he is always looking after me. he carries my things and makes sure i have everything i need. he~s like a big brother.
TB has finally made a civil union with the dog that protects me and my house. she can walk in front of her and the dog doesn~t do anything. this is a milestone! tb is the neighborhood cat and the dogs don~t bother her anymore. it~s like they know she~s mine.
i have memorized the world map. hey, there~s a lot of time and nothing to do when it rains.
i will post some more exciting news once i start my treck to the amazon. more adventures to come!!
in other news, i must look pretty local by now. on my way to the internet, i was offered a ride by a cutie. i said thanks but didn~t accept, as it has been engrained not to take rides from strangers regardless of how safe it is here in rosa. also, i was approached by an elderly argentinian woman who asked me for directions to the beach. i must look like i know the way. how far i~ve come from day 1.
i have two friends who want to visit in december. one is a brazilian with whom i traveled around brazil 8 years ago. the other is a turkish friend from san francisco. we met in sign language class. we may do some traveling together while he is here but he~s not sure about the duration of his stay.
and for mom anmd dad, my friend rodrigo wants me to tell you that even though i live alone, i am safe. there are 5 friends who live within talking distance of my house and we all take care of each other. he is always looking after me. he carries my things and makes sure i have everything i need. he~s like a big brother.
TB has finally made a civil union with the dog that protects me and my house. she can walk in front of her and the dog doesn~t do anything. this is a milestone! tb is the neighborhood cat and the dogs don~t bother her anymore. it~s like they know she~s mine.
i have memorized the world map. hey, there~s a lot of time and nothing to do when it rains.
i will post some more exciting news once i start my treck to the amazon. more adventures to come!!
The Death Train, etc.
Traveling on the death train to Machu Picchu is becoming less appealing to me. I have been reading peoples' blogs about it and it has been described as a mosquito and cockroach-infested bomb that takes a shoddy rail network through the mountains. Its traincars slam into each other at each stop (of which there are many) waking you up in the middle of the night with a terrifying feeling of derailment. If I were on autopilot for self destruct, I would consider the trip. People say to take the death train for a more "real" expérience, but I have enough reality to deal with. They say the rich love to do things the hard way and the poor prefer to relax and when given the choice, choose the easy way. I think this comes from always having to work. My time in Brazil has not been work in the sense of labor or time spent in an office, but the negotiations and sacrafices made in final moments of frustration tally a heavy sum.
But I have not given up on traveling. Ivo and I are leaving for the Amazon at the end of the week. My death train will have to wait. Bugs, many many bugs and creatures I have yet to meet are calling for me.
p.s. I didn~t take this photo of the death train but see how it~s close to running someone over on the tracks? I haven~t even seen it and it scares me.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
unidentified food
after surviving a hangover that could have killed hercules, i am finally able to get out and use thie internet. but i discover my new internet place is closed for a while for repairs (?) so i decide to go to the grocery store instead. on my way home, i stop at a roadside stand to buy rotisserie chicken, one of my favorite foods in any country. a few middle-aged men are inside drinking beers and eating some appetizers. one man dipped what looked like a piece of sausage into *farofa and handed it to me on a toothpick, asking if i knew what it was. but before he could get the name out in portuguese, i had already shoved it in my mouth, excited to try something new. the piece of inards was not a heart but a liver or perhaps tongue of some animal, probably a chicken, soft, dissolving in my mouth with a gamey flavor. it was probably the worst thing i have taasted since the fish eyeball. it stuck in the corners of my gums and teeth and i couldn~t get the flavor out of my mouth. but what is travel without trying new things?
*farofa- dry manioc flour, much like cornmeal but finely ground. sauteéd with butter and onions and used as a topping for meats and beans.
*farofa- dry manioc flour, much like cornmeal but finely ground. sauteéd with butter and onions and used as a topping for meats and beans.
describing praia do rosa
one of the first questions people ask me as a californian living here is how i arrived in praia do rosa. i wanted to live in a small beach town where the rent is cheap and i would have all the time i need to write, draw and travel. the house i found on the internet, with its Hemmingway-treehouse appeal, invited me here and here i am.
praia do rosa is one of about 15 crescent-shaped beaches located on brazil's southern coast of santa catarina. it is known for its surf and whale watching. what most non-locals don't know is that its dirt roads and lit inns used to be covered so densely with bamboo, vines and brush that a machete was required to navigate through the barely beaten paths. women were sometimes spotted changing into their bathing suits in the haven of the folliage.
from the lush mountain wall that holds rosa in its arms, a vista spreads from southern santa catarina to florianopolis, the larger more chique island city to the north. before the mountain reaches the floor, two lagoons; one salt and one fresh water. behind the mountain is a valley where cattle graze on stickery fields of weeds surrounded by barbed-wire fences and dirt roads where stray dogs are heard barking at each other in bouts of machismo. this is where i live.
there is a bit of a war between locals and tourists. the locals show pride in knowing their way around, and only until you have won their affection will they show you, with more than just a nod, the shortcut to the beach. the local will know where to eat steak, fries, beans and rice (with a side of chili oil and packets of condiments) for only $5USD. they know who is in the water surfing and when, what day the whales will arrive, how many days the rain will stay, and about how many months it will take to pave the roads that have been washed out by that rain. they know who is new in town, who owns what property, where you are from, who is sleeping with who, what your addiction is, how many moles you have, etc...rosa maintains a small town mentality and a laid back beach vibe where everything is said to be done "tomorrow".
but rosa is a seasonal little village and in its winter months during peak season, its stores swell with tourists, on the streets, cars that blare brazilian reggae, hip hop and forró, a kind of polka-sounding music popular with the 16-35 yr. old crowd. the surf shops are open until past dark and restaurants and all night clubs spill with 20-something surfers sharing small glasses of beer. the smell of churrasco (bbq) , freshly baked bread and stray dogs become a mainstay. this growth proves that this small beach village is smarter and more entrepreneurial than it appears. even with the excitement, i am able to find the quiet to do all the writing i want.
i the privacy of my morning walk to the shore from the valley, through town and past horse-drawn carts and all night clubs blaring house music, i breathe in the salty humid air, letting it fill me, then let it go, releasing all judgements. doing this two or three times reminds me that even though i am 8000 miles away, i can still taste the sea air that reminds me of my california roots.
praia do rosa is one of about 15 crescent-shaped beaches located on brazil's southern coast of santa catarina. it is known for its surf and whale watching. what most non-locals don't know is that its dirt roads and lit inns used to be covered so densely with bamboo, vines and brush that a machete was required to navigate through the barely beaten paths. women were sometimes spotted changing into their bathing suits in the haven of the folliage.
from the lush mountain wall that holds rosa in its arms, a vista spreads from southern santa catarina to florianopolis, the larger more chique island city to the north. before the mountain reaches the floor, two lagoons; one salt and one fresh water. behind the mountain is a valley where cattle graze on stickery fields of weeds surrounded by barbed-wire fences and dirt roads where stray dogs are heard barking at each other in bouts of machismo. this is where i live.
there is a bit of a war between locals and tourists. the locals show pride in knowing their way around, and only until you have won their affection will they show you, with more than just a nod, the shortcut to the beach. the local will know where to eat steak, fries, beans and rice (with a side of chili oil and packets of condiments) for only $5USD. they know who is in the water surfing and when, what day the whales will arrive, how many days the rain will stay, and about how many months it will take to pave the roads that have been washed out by that rain. they know who is new in town, who owns what property, where you are from, who is sleeping with who, what your addiction is, how many moles you have, etc...rosa maintains a small town mentality and a laid back beach vibe where everything is said to be done "tomorrow".
but rosa is a seasonal little village and in its winter months during peak season, its stores swell with tourists, on the streets, cars that blare brazilian reggae, hip hop and forró, a kind of polka-sounding music popular with the 16-35 yr. old crowd. the surf shops are open until past dark and restaurants and all night clubs spill with 20-something surfers sharing small glasses of beer. the smell of churrasco (bbq) , freshly baked bread and stray dogs become a mainstay. this growth proves that this small beach village is smarter and more entrepreneurial than it appears. even with the excitement, i am able to find the quiet to do all the writing i want.
i the privacy of my morning walk to the shore from the valley, through town and past horse-drawn carts and all night clubs blaring house music, i breathe in the salty humid air, letting it fill me, then let it go, releasing all judgements. doing this two or three times reminds me that even though i am 8000 miles away, i can still taste the sea air that reminds me of my california roots.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
non-related AWESOME post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDbAxhV2ofM&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fhome.php%3Fref%3Dhome&feature=player_embedded
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
See the little lifeguard post in the center bottom of the photo? Now look at how huge the waves are. This was an epic surf day. Brave souls surfed and fought for waves for hours.
New Argentinian friend, Marianna
Jujubee's night of getting so drunk that a friend had to inject her with something to rehydrate her body.
Our beach, Rosa South
Lucy and boyfriend
more photos
(from last to first photo)
as promised, me in my bikini.
next, me spanking tod
then, the scary road i had to walk at night when living with ivo
out with ivo and dani (another female friend)
me and rodrigo (one of the two only gay guys here haha!)
finally!! photos!!!
traveling is more important to me than teaching english, so i have decided to buy a ticket through bolivia and to peru. the woman who wants english lessons is taking her time. she postponed our lessons, again, because she had a chemical peel treatment. this behavior is irritating, so i~m leaving for maccu picchu!!!
juju and ivo are continuing their love affair (did i already mention they were trying each other out?) and both are talking in each of my ears. i have gotten past the awkward "friend dating the brother" feeling and now just sit back and watch it all unfold. it~s drama. one day, he says he doesn~t want to be with her unless she wants a relationship, the next, he is spending the night at our house.
on a lighter note, i took a cute photo of lucy~s dog sniffing a cow nose to nose. we are still waiting loyally for the whales to show, and praying for warmer days. a few days ago, we had the coldest day of the year. i could see my breath in the house, and we don~t have a fireplace. a heater is unheard of, so we all snuggle up in blankets and lots of clothes. the shower water is heated electronically, so if we take longer than ten minutes, the lights go out. these are some of my challenges. i believe my challenges are internal and that everything i deal with can be a lesson of patience, so these challenges will manifest as simply events. the valuable lessons brazil has taught me is to be grateful. when i have to turn off the hto shower at ten minutes, i no longer think "damn, i don~t want to get out". i think, "i~m so glad we have hot water". when a stinky stray dog follows me home, i don~t tell him to get lost. i am grateful i have a dog to protect me in the dark on my way home.
i have added some photos. finally, my memory card fits into lucy~s camera and i have found a computer to recognize those files!
the first photo is ivo. this is where we layed out while we lived together.
the next is jujubee and lucy
then there~s a photo of me doing dishes, which jujubee thought was pretty exciting to document.
the next is a night of making fish with a friend, buddy
the last is me spanking our friend tod.
Monday, July 27, 2009
classy.
so, a friend of mine, who is usually very modest, quiet, soft-spoken and wise, told me that he had a dream of me doing things that would make ron jeremy blush. seriously, why would anyone tell me that?? he~s going to buenos aires for a few weeks. was this his way of telling me he~s interested? classy. i mean c'mon... who tells someone "hey i had a dream you were giving me fallacio" (not in those exact words)? it~s surprising because lucy and i were having a conversation about him. we said, he doesn~t talk much, but when he does, he has something to say. i guess he just really needed to say it.
transcontinental crush aborted
well, i think i know what to do about my transcontinental crush. absolutely nothing. there are some things that turn me off, that i know i can~t deal with. there are other fish in the sea.
i realize this blog is very personal and as a friend advised, it should have a theme. besides the theme of travel and living abroad, i think a theme has grown that describes the food, lifestyle, entertainment, the manners, moral and ethical laws...
clever titles hardly qualify as a theme but it is the title that either has you at hello or has you clicking to CNN.com.
i realize this blog is very personal and as a friend advised, it should have a theme. besides the theme of travel and living abroad, i think a theme has grown that describes the food, lifestyle, entertainment, the manners, moral and ethical laws...
clever titles hardly qualify as a theme but it is the title that either has you at hello or has you clicking to CNN.com.
"pao veijo"
i~m watching a game show that i can~t believe is being aired. 7 contestants are on stage and they are asked to say how long they last when they have sex. then, their spouses are interviewed and they have to say how long the contestant lasts. whomever gets closest wins. it~s hilarious becuase some men say they last 45 minutes and the wife says 15 minutes, putting him to shame in front of millions of brazilians watching the show.
there is also another show similar to american idol. musicians submit a video of their music and the audience and at-home viewers text in to vote, then there is a winner. the songs that come on are unbelieveable. one was about a car a man gave to his wife. this car was called " pao veijo". he talks about how she loves to ride in this car, that she loves the car, that it~s all hers and that he gave it to her to use every day. well, the term "pao veijo" has a double meaning, the other being "old cock" in portuguese. so the guy is singing about how his wife loved the "old cock" that he gives her to use every day. HILARIOUS. the things brazilians get away with...
another observation: when i came to brazil, people would say "oh, the land of samba, soccer and sex." but it really is true! the women here have sex all the time with whomever they want at the moment. sadly, even friends sleep with other friends' boyfriends. not all the time, but it happens frequently. i was talking with a friend about this. she told me a friend of hers slept with her boyfriend. i asked if she was still friends with the girl and she said yes. i didn~t understand how this was possible. i mean, isn~t it a written code among women (and some men) that you don~t sleep with your friend's mate? but she said, in the realm of love and in the heat of passion, there are no rules. she weighed her priorities and decided her friendship was more important than being angry. jeez, with friends like that, who needs friends? i guess, in brazil, friend is a four letter word.
there is also another show similar to american idol. musicians submit a video of their music and the audience and at-home viewers text in to vote, then there is a winner. the songs that come on are unbelieveable. one was about a car a man gave to his wife. this car was called " pao veijo". he talks about how she loves to ride in this car, that she loves the car, that it~s all hers and that he gave it to her to use every day. well, the term "pao veijo" has a double meaning, the other being "old cock" in portuguese. so the guy is singing about how his wife loved the "old cock" that he gives her to use every day. HILARIOUS. the things brazilians get away with...
another observation: when i came to brazil, people would say "oh, the land of samba, soccer and sex." but it really is true! the women here have sex all the time with whomever they want at the moment. sadly, even friends sleep with other friends' boyfriends. not all the time, but it happens frequently. i was talking with a friend about this. she told me a friend of hers slept with her boyfriend. i asked if she was still friends with the girl and she said yes. i didn~t understand how this was possible. i mean, isn~t it a written code among women (and some men) that you don~t sleep with your friend's mate? but she said, in the realm of love and in the heat of passion, there are no rules. she weighed her priorities and decided her friendship was more important than being angry. jeez, with friends like that, who needs friends? i guess, in brazil, friend is a four letter word.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
another great day!
and dinner was spectacular as well..
for appetizers, we ate fresh mussles from the rocks on our beach. we ate fresh bread with lucy~s home made garlic mayonaise dip and drank starfruit caipirinhas. i made pizza for everyone from scratch! dough and everything. the available food here is limited so as toppings, we had potato and garlic with white sauce and one with tomatoes, onions and bell peppers with red sauce. another was made with onions, of course, cheese and green olives with red sauce.
today we are going to the beach again, hopefully to see the whales arrive. i have been spoiled living with lucy and juju because we have a friend, rogerio, who owns a car and drives us everywhere. i have not had to walk much and living in the valley, there are no hills to climb. fortunately ivo brought some bananas he cut (that are now finally ripe after two weeks) and rogerio has been making shakes every morning with guarana powder. guarana is a root extract that is used as a vitamin, it is a defensive toxin and boosts energy. so my health doesn~t suffer too much from my recent lack of exercise.
i am looking forward to renting the studio on august 3rd when it becomes available. right now i buy food for 5-6 people and i am kind of the mother of the house...well, lucy and i take care of everyone. living with jujubee is like having a ten year old or a teenager living in the house. the world revolves around her and she needs a lot of attention and care. we cook and clean and take care of the hopeless men who can~t cook a decent meal :) as far as bills go, they could help out a bit more. bringing over weed doesn~t cut it since i don~t smoke.
and now, something to look forward to... REGINA IN HER BIKINI!!!
oh yes, it~s time to show off the brazilian body i have acquired by working so hard walking and sunbathing. someone took a profile-worthy pic of me at the beach on this huge rock where waves crash, so as soon as i find a computer that will read the files, i will load some of my favorite pics for you to see...one of my favorites being, me spanking a friend with a wooden pizza pan.
and dinner was spectacular as well..
for appetizers, we ate fresh mussles from the rocks on our beach. we ate fresh bread with lucy~s home made garlic mayonaise dip and drank starfruit caipirinhas. i made pizza for everyone from scratch! dough and everything. the available food here is limited so as toppings, we had potato and garlic with white sauce and one with tomatoes, onions and bell peppers with red sauce. another was made with onions, of course, cheese and green olives with red sauce.
today we are going to the beach again, hopefully to see the whales arrive. i have been spoiled living with lucy and juju because we have a friend, rogerio, who owns a car and drives us everywhere. i have not had to walk much and living in the valley, there are no hills to climb. fortunately ivo brought some bananas he cut (that are now finally ripe after two weeks) and rogerio has been making shakes every morning with guarana powder. guarana is a root extract that is used as a vitamin, it is a defensive toxin and boosts energy. so my health doesn~t suffer too much from my recent lack of exercise.
i am looking forward to renting the studio on august 3rd when it becomes available. right now i buy food for 5-6 people and i am kind of the mother of the house...well, lucy and i take care of everyone. living with jujubee is like having a ten year old or a teenager living in the house. the world revolves around her and she needs a lot of attention and care. we cook and clean and take care of the hopeless men who can~t cook a decent meal :) as far as bills go, they could help out a bit more. bringing over weed doesn~t cut it since i don~t smoke.
and now, something to look forward to... REGINA IN HER BIKINI!!!
oh yes, it~s time to show off the brazilian body i have acquired by working so hard walking and sunbathing. someone took a profile-worthy pic of me at the beach on this huge rock where waves crash, so as soon as i find a computer that will read the files, i will load some of my favorite pics for you to see...one of my favorites being, me spanking a friend with a wooden pizza pan.
Friday, July 24, 2009
EPIC non-sequiter
I saw the biggest waves i have ever seen in my life. i was raised in california on the coast and have never wittnessed waves this huge! they reached about 15 feet. there were about 100 brave surfers sucking it up too! amazing. the sky was orange and violet as the sun was setting and there was no beach left, just foam. so, i watched from the restaurant above. what an epic day.
i have moved in with jujubee and lucy and i know from just one night that i am not going to stay. in a nutshell, i need space, quiet and my own bed that no men will creep into....so, i am going to rent a studio just a few steps away. our neighborhood is small, with just about 10 houses all clustered on a hill with cows and dirt roads. all our friends live nearby. i will essentially be living alone but i can be with my friends whenever i want.
praia do rosa is known for surf and whales. the whales should be arriving soon. every day, we take the binoculars to the beach, rain or shine, and look for surfers. i mean whales. :)
so many conversations i have had are about traveling to other parts of s. america. i was talking with a friend, freddy, who is a 24 yr old prodigy of travel it seems. he has already lived all over, barcelona being the last. we spoke about going to maccu picchu together by train. it goes from brazil to peru and is named "el tren de morte", the train of death. i said, yes, let~s die in maccu picchu together!! but i have to tell my parents first. i can~t imagine why the train is called that, but i can imagine it takes some pretty steep, narrow roads, the kind goofy and mickey took when they were sporting the aerostreaam.
brazil finds a "jeito" or way of doing things other people can~t or won~t do. for example, a poster is adhered to a wall with toothpaste. hangers are made of cut bamboo. cell phone credits are charged at 5 dollar intervals, just like the petrol in cars is added. only 1/4 tank of gas is added at a time. sarongs are used as fitted sheets and bamboo chutes are rolling pins. plastic bags are used to cover food and containers that hold jam and butter are washed and reused as plastic storage containers. brazilians are conservative and they only use what they need. even old bread is mixed with leftover rice and beans to feed stray dogs.
good news.... since my things were stolen, i have been moping about not being able to post photos. well, one day, lucy and i thought "wow, maybe my memory card fits into her camera". we tried it and it fits! so we loaded all my photos onto juju~s computer and saved them to a disc. if i can find an internet that will read those files, i will have a bunch of new photos up soon. let~s cross our fingers.
i have moved in with jujubee and lucy and i know from just one night that i am not going to stay. in a nutshell, i need space, quiet and my own bed that no men will creep into....so, i am going to rent a studio just a few steps away. our neighborhood is small, with just about 10 houses all clustered on a hill with cows and dirt roads. all our friends live nearby. i will essentially be living alone but i can be with my friends whenever i want.
praia do rosa is known for surf and whales. the whales should be arriving soon. every day, we take the binoculars to the beach, rain or shine, and look for surfers. i mean whales. :)
so many conversations i have had are about traveling to other parts of s. america. i was talking with a friend, freddy, who is a 24 yr old prodigy of travel it seems. he has already lived all over, barcelona being the last. we spoke about going to maccu picchu together by train. it goes from brazil to peru and is named "el tren de morte", the train of death. i said, yes, let~s die in maccu picchu together!! but i have to tell my parents first. i can~t imagine why the train is called that, but i can imagine it takes some pretty steep, narrow roads, the kind goofy and mickey took when they were sporting the aerostreaam.
brazil finds a "jeito" or way of doing things other people can~t or won~t do. for example, a poster is adhered to a wall with toothpaste. hangers are made of cut bamboo. cell phone credits are charged at 5 dollar intervals, just like the petrol in cars is added. only 1/4 tank of gas is added at a time. sarongs are used as fitted sheets and bamboo chutes are rolling pins. plastic bags are used to cover food and containers that hold jam and butter are washed and reused as plastic storage containers. brazilians are conservative and they only use what they need. even old bread is mixed with leftover rice and beans to feed stray dogs.
good news.... since my things were stolen, i have been moping about not being able to post photos. well, one day, lucy and i thought "wow, maybe my memory card fits into her camera". we tried it and it fits! so we loaded all my photos onto juju~s computer and saved them to a disc. if i can find an internet that will read those files, i will have a bunch of new photos up soon. let~s cross our fingers.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
i did it my way
at the moment, i don~t feel restless. i haven~t traveled through s.america during this trip, and i am happy for that. i am sitting here in a rented house with close friends, listening to lucy~s sentiments she wrote about her boyfriend who just went back to live on the island where he was raised. we are preparing dinner with our local goodies, blending drinks of passion fruit and sugar, listening to brazilian music and looking at our photos from the beach excursion. my god, does it get any better than this? it is so simple but that~s what makes me feel settled.
i have accepted and been accepted. i feel like although it~s obvious i~m a foreigner, i am one of their own. people look after me. they ask where i am when i am not around. i am always invited, without question, to anyone~s house or if they are going out to the beach, it is a given that regina is coming too.
i am so so fortunate and i remember that. as much bitching as i do, deep down, i know that i am so blessed to be where i am. i know that i will have peace of mind in old age, to know that i did exactly what i wanted and i did it my way.
i have accepted and been accepted. i feel like although it~s obvious i~m a foreigner, i am one of their own. people look after me. they ask where i am when i am not around. i am always invited, without question, to anyone~s house or if they are going out to the beach, it is a given that regina is coming too.
i am so so fortunate and i remember that. as much bitching as i do, deep down, i know that i am so blessed to be where i am. i know that i will have peace of mind in old age, to know that i did exactly what i wanted and i did it my way.
i~ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees
i was going to bitch about how i had to wait an hour for juju to go to the beach but the reality is, i live in paradise!! i had one of the best days of my life!
a few friends and i piled into a car headed for a foreign secluded beach. our plans to lay out were thwarted by an overcast sky so we wandered instead . . . right onto a grassy trail that led to gigantic burnt sienna rocks being slammed by waves. we climbed the slippery boulders until we reached a point that seemed to be the end of the earth. the sea was stormy, waves crashed against the fortress of rocks and dolphins were jumping out of the choppiness. the splash reached about 3 stories and drenched us all completely, through our clothes, like buckets of water were being thrown on us. we stripped down to our bathing suits and laughed our asses off and looked for the nearest point to be even more drenched by the next wave.
time after time, we were pounded by even bigger waves, us laughing uncontrollably. after about a half hour of pure entertainment, we were numb to the core, sore from laughing, and decided to move on. i wondered into an old hut that housed a fishing boat, some benches and a stove with a pot of coffee. it was as if someone lived there during the day.
while our clothes dried on the beach, we played soccer, rode bikes and listened to music while drinking mate (all at the same time). on the way home, we stopped by the store to pick up fresh bread and then, all sandy and salty, made a huge feast of chicken, pasta salad, veggies, beans and rice for friends. lucy made a mayonaise with garlic, parsley, milk and oil, and i swear, it is of the gods. all those hours of watching food network tv never taught me the other way to peel garlic from i~s skin by soaking it. i could put a bowl of this mayo by my bed at night and eat it with my finger. (but we used the fresh bread as a vehicle for the sauce instead). of course no dinner is complete without brazilian reggae, dancing (i did a scarf dance, to everyone~s amusement) and cachaça! what a perfect day!!! brazil brazil brazil!!
a few friends and i piled into a car headed for a foreign secluded beach. our plans to lay out were thwarted by an overcast sky so we wandered instead . . . right onto a grassy trail that led to gigantic burnt sienna rocks being slammed by waves. we climbed the slippery boulders until we reached a point that seemed to be the end of the earth. the sea was stormy, waves crashed against the fortress of rocks and dolphins were jumping out of the choppiness. the splash reached about 3 stories and drenched us all completely, through our clothes, like buckets of water were being thrown on us. we stripped down to our bathing suits and laughed our asses off and looked for the nearest point to be even more drenched by the next wave.
time after time, we were pounded by even bigger waves, us laughing uncontrollably. after about a half hour of pure entertainment, we were numb to the core, sore from laughing, and decided to move on. i wondered into an old hut that housed a fishing boat, some benches and a stove with a pot of coffee. it was as if someone lived there during the day.
while our clothes dried on the beach, we played soccer, rode bikes and listened to music while drinking mate (all at the same time). on the way home, we stopped by the store to pick up fresh bread and then, all sandy and salty, made a huge feast of chicken, pasta salad, veggies, beans and rice for friends. lucy made a mayonaise with garlic, parsley, milk and oil, and i swear, it is of the gods. all those hours of watching food network tv never taught me the other way to peel garlic from i~s skin by soaking it. i could put a bowl of this mayo by my bed at night and eat it with my finger. (but we used the fresh bread as a vehicle for the sauce instead). of course no dinner is complete without brazilian reggae, dancing (i did a scarf dance, to everyone~s amusement) and cachaça! what a perfect day!!! brazil brazil brazil!!
Friday, July 17, 2009
skazi!
jujubee got so drunk on cachaca one night that a nurse friend injected a hydration solvent into her arm. i think it was some kind of sugar. she was pale and her eyes were red and watery. the girl is so crazy that when she felt better, about 20 minutes later, she said "i~m good to go!!!" and started drinking again!!! she was on a mission. there is a myth here, just like the lockness monster, that the lagoon here is so deep, there lives a monster called "cocomura". when someone gets really drunk and vomits, we say they saw cocomura. jujubee saw cocomura that night.
i took a new path to the beach one evening. i walked down the mountain past an empty house, through someone~s old wooden gate, past a grassy clearing and into a forest of bamboo trees. after the slippery shady forested slope, holding onto bamboo shutes and vines that reach 4 stories, we got to a small dirt path next to the lagoon, where a cow moos, and walked up and onto the main road. it was a nice tangent.
i made a new friend, marianna from argentina. now there~s julianna, lucianna, marianna, roberto (token gay), and ivo. just to keep you updated. marianna encourages me to do more traveling in south america because it~s safe as a woman traveling alone. she says bolivia, chile and peru are even cheaper than brazil.
i have been introduced to the wonderful world of SKAZI!!!!! an israeli band, probably the best house music ever!!! i have a huge star crush on the lead dj (with the long hair---he~s nuts!) he~s going to be here in brazil at the largest festival in south america. he will be dj-ing for over 15,000 people. the ticket is about $125 though and i don~t know if i can justify spending it when there is traveling to be done. regardless, here you go, for pure energy!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIL2ttBqTsM
there are tons of other songs on youtube. and just for mom and dad, don~t worry they~re not satanic. they~re anarchists.
i took a new path to the beach one evening. i walked down the mountain past an empty house, through someone~s old wooden gate, past a grassy clearing and into a forest of bamboo trees. after the slippery shady forested slope, holding onto bamboo shutes and vines that reach 4 stories, we got to a small dirt path next to the lagoon, where a cow moos, and walked up and onto the main road. it was a nice tangent.
i made a new friend, marianna from argentina. now there~s julianna, lucianna, marianna, roberto (token gay), and ivo. just to keep you updated. marianna encourages me to do more traveling in south america because it~s safe as a woman traveling alone. she says bolivia, chile and peru are even cheaper than brazil.
i have been introduced to the wonderful world of SKAZI!!!!! an israeli band, probably the best house music ever!!! i have a huge star crush on the lead dj (with the long hair---he~s nuts!) he~s going to be here in brazil at the largest festival in south america. he will be dj-ing for over 15,000 people. the ticket is about $125 though and i don~t know if i can justify spending it when there is traveling to be done. regardless, here you go, for pure energy!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIL2ttBqTsM
there are tons of other songs on youtube. and just for mom and dad, don~t worry they~re not satanic. they~re anarchists.
long post about love...and failure...
i have recently been receiving emails from an ancient ex boyfriend.
get this:
we dated for 4.5. years. he and a close friend of ours sat me down one sunday morning at her house in long beach and said "we have to tell you somethng". then they say "we are in love with each other". my poor little 22 yr old traumatized heart is broken and i leave him there with her and drove back to santa barbara, where lived at the time. we broke up and we haven~t seen each other in 12 years.
turns out they got married and have a child together. the wife (our freind) turned out to be an alcoholic and almost comitted suicide a short while ago, putting herself in the hospital and jeopardizing the welfare of their child and marriage.
now he says he will meet me "anywhere in the world to collaborate on art or whatever". he~s a photographer. he thinks he can just pop into my life when his life is at a crossroads, and i am supposed to unearth him from his problems...that~s the message i~m getting. i have created a harmonious life and i never leeched onto anyone to make that a reality. as much as it is within my power to keep my life simple and peaceful, i will do it. i know it~s not withn my best interest to let him back into my life; not a positive step. he wants me to teach him how i arrived at where i am with art, travel, life, etc. i was never a teacher and i decline to teach him anything partly because i don~t know anything different than anyone else and partly because the idea of having him near scares me and threatens my world of happiness.
this blog has turned out to be an open book and i am starting to like it.
there is still a place in my heart for him but i don~t love him the way i did. not by a longshot. in fact, i hardly think about him and haven~t since i got over the trauma of the breakup. how do i be buddha about the situation? how can i peacefully and with a kind heart, decline his offer to meet, collaborate and start a new life together (in a friendship sense)? my interests are with myself, and i owe myself a life of happiness, of fulfillment, purpose and love. just like he lives to support, love and raise his daughter, i live to give myself that same undyng devotion and stability. i won~t jeopardize what i have built for someone else even if he was my first love.
true love has happened once in my life. it was a thing of fairy tales.
i met my ex husband through a mutual friend. we dated for two weeks and fell in love. i thought, this is it for me. i knew that i didn~t want to be with anyone else, that i could never meet another man who would match me in every way. i knew that i would never look at another man lustfully or with the same amount of love, and i didn~t. he proposed after those two weeks and we were married 2 months later. it was a whirlwind engagement and marriage. he was everything i ever wanted. we were the perfect match. he was spontaneous and adventurous, playful, kind-hearted, loved to laugh. he was bold, never cared what anyone else said or did. he was a self-made man with ambition, work ethics, an exceptionally imaginative brain, he was off the charts beautiful and has a sense of humor that made me laugh until i peed my pants. we loved being together and he was my best friend. we passionately collided in love and in arguments. eventually he wanted one thing and i wanted another. he began to settle and i wanted to move around. our fights were always about everything but nothing in particular. we didn~t know each other well enough to have said we would stay together forever, and although we did everything we could to honor that committment, our love wasn~t enough to keep us together, and just as spontaneously as it flourished, it combusted...4 years later, a rocky road, two separations and finally a divorce. i still have an enormous amount of love for him. but "i" am more important than "we" if "we" means sacraficing the core of "i".
i guess my point is i love, but i love myself more.
get this:
we dated for 4.5. years. he and a close friend of ours sat me down one sunday morning at her house in long beach and said "we have to tell you somethng". then they say "we are in love with each other". my poor little 22 yr old traumatized heart is broken and i leave him there with her and drove back to santa barbara, where lived at the time. we broke up and we haven~t seen each other in 12 years.
turns out they got married and have a child together. the wife (our freind) turned out to be an alcoholic and almost comitted suicide a short while ago, putting herself in the hospital and jeopardizing the welfare of their child and marriage.
now he says he will meet me "anywhere in the world to collaborate on art or whatever". he~s a photographer. he thinks he can just pop into my life when his life is at a crossroads, and i am supposed to unearth him from his problems...that~s the message i~m getting. i have created a harmonious life and i never leeched onto anyone to make that a reality. as much as it is within my power to keep my life simple and peaceful, i will do it. i know it~s not withn my best interest to let him back into my life; not a positive step. he wants me to teach him how i arrived at where i am with art, travel, life, etc. i was never a teacher and i decline to teach him anything partly because i don~t know anything different than anyone else and partly because the idea of having him near scares me and threatens my world of happiness.
this blog has turned out to be an open book and i am starting to like it.
there is still a place in my heart for him but i don~t love him the way i did. not by a longshot. in fact, i hardly think about him and haven~t since i got over the trauma of the breakup. how do i be buddha about the situation? how can i peacefully and with a kind heart, decline his offer to meet, collaborate and start a new life together (in a friendship sense)? my interests are with myself, and i owe myself a life of happiness, of fulfillment, purpose and love. just like he lives to support, love and raise his daughter, i live to give myself that same undyng devotion and stability. i won~t jeopardize what i have built for someone else even if he was my first love.
true love has happened once in my life. it was a thing of fairy tales.
i met my ex husband through a mutual friend. we dated for two weeks and fell in love. i thought, this is it for me. i knew that i didn~t want to be with anyone else, that i could never meet another man who would match me in every way. i knew that i would never look at another man lustfully or with the same amount of love, and i didn~t. he proposed after those two weeks and we were married 2 months later. it was a whirlwind engagement and marriage. he was everything i ever wanted. we were the perfect match. he was spontaneous and adventurous, playful, kind-hearted, loved to laugh. he was bold, never cared what anyone else said or did. he was a self-made man with ambition, work ethics, an exceptionally imaginative brain, he was off the charts beautiful and has a sense of humor that made me laugh until i peed my pants. we loved being together and he was my best friend. we passionately collided in love and in arguments. eventually he wanted one thing and i wanted another. he began to settle and i wanted to move around. our fights were always about everything but nothing in particular. we didn~t know each other well enough to have said we would stay together forever, and although we did everything we could to honor that committment, our love wasn~t enough to keep us together, and just as spontaneously as it flourished, it combusted...4 years later, a rocky road, two separations and finally a divorce. i still have an enormous amount of love for him. but "i" am more important than "we" if "we" means sacraficing the core of "i".
i guess my point is i love, but i love myself more.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
new housing
i have secured a house with jujubee and lucy. it is a two bedroom in the valley of praia do rosa, so it is safe and located a short walk from the center of the village. yeah, it only has two rooms, but i plan to travel around a bit since they are willing to watch my cat. i would just pay my portion of the rent and take off.
the owner of the pousada (hotel/bed and breakfast) where i will be teaching english had postponed my start date, but confirmed with me yesterday that she wants to start our lessons in a week. so having an income will enable me to travel. although i didn~t come to brazil to work, i do enjoy being usefull and doing something with my knowledge and time.
i have discovered my migranes are not related to cachaça, as i have given it up and am still experiencing pain. i believe it is from the fumes of the gasoline ivo has stored below the living room. i will be moving into our new house today, so hopefully the migranes will subside.
i have become an expert on mud. it has been raining here non-stop and i can~t lock myself in the house, so i brave the roads. this thick red mud is the kind your shoes sink into. there~s dry mud, sandy mud, wet soggy mud which is the worst kind, then the thin mud that tricks you into thinking it~s safe but is actually a slick surface on the stones that make up the road. it~s a delicate skill to have, walking here when it rains.
i finally met my old landlord. he teaches english in sao paulo but is staying in rosa for some time at my old house. he is very polite, handsome, modest, intelligent and kind. i think i~ll show him some fun with my friends and i before he leaves again for sao paulo. he is trying to sell his house and if he does, he won~t return to sao paulo but instead, travel around south america.
missing and loving all of you,
beijos (kisses) from brazil
the owner of the pousada (hotel/bed and breakfast) where i will be teaching english had postponed my start date, but confirmed with me yesterday that she wants to start our lessons in a week. so having an income will enable me to travel. although i didn~t come to brazil to work, i do enjoy being usefull and doing something with my knowledge and time.
i have discovered my migranes are not related to cachaça, as i have given it up and am still experiencing pain. i believe it is from the fumes of the gasoline ivo has stored below the living room. i will be moving into our new house today, so hopefully the migranes will subside.
i have become an expert on mud. it has been raining here non-stop and i can~t lock myself in the house, so i brave the roads. this thick red mud is the kind your shoes sink into. there~s dry mud, sandy mud, wet soggy mud which is the worst kind, then the thin mud that tricks you into thinking it~s safe but is actually a slick surface on the stones that make up the road. it~s a delicate skill to have, walking here when it rains.
i finally met my old landlord. he teaches english in sao paulo but is staying in rosa for some time at my old house. he is very polite, handsome, modest, intelligent and kind. i think i~ll show him some fun with my friends and i before he leaves again for sao paulo. he is trying to sell his house and if he does, he won~t return to sao paulo but instead, travel around south america.
missing and loving all of you,
beijos (kisses) from brazil
Friday, July 10, 2009
c~mon people...
seriously, i posted that i needed advice and not one person left a comment for me. i know some of you like to give unsolicited advice ALL THE TIME and now that i legitimately want it, where are you smarties??
is anyone there??? hello?? can anyone hear me???
is anyone there??? hello?? can anyone hear me???
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
i have been blessed with a double-edged sword. i am pretty good at almost everything i begin to do, whether it be athletic or kinetic, but i get bored easily and move on too quickly to be great at any one thing. but there is one thing i want to do and be great. i want to be a travel writer.
i want to share my adventures with anyone who will read about it. i have done that so far, but i want to reach a wider audience because i believe travel brings people together and transforms the myth that people are different, into an understanding that people all want the same things in life, which is to love and be loved. it opens the halls of the mind, a passage with a vanishing point. just as having children is (i imagine) a committment for which no one can prepare, when we travel, we have a completely personal experience that cannot be expressed in words. so i continue to describe what i see, what i learn, always knocking at the door of that knowledge, knowing you are on the other side. there is no password to get to the other side. but i hope that with humility and an earnest documentation of my own travels, i can encourage you to at least look through the peephole an eventually push the door wide open, as your eyes will be when you see what is on the other side. i can promise that i will not quit before i become great at telling the story. and from now on, i am going to refer to myself as a tourist, because that is what i am everywhere i go. someone wise said "a traveler is just a pretentious tourist" and i totally agree.
i want to share my adventures with anyone who will read about it. i have done that so far, but i want to reach a wider audience because i believe travel brings people together and transforms the myth that people are different, into an understanding that people all want the same things in life, which is to love and be loved. it opens the halls of the mind, a passage with a vanishing point. just as having children is (i imagine) a committment for which no one can prepare, when we travel, we have a completely personal experience that cannot be expressed in words. so i continue to describe what i see, what i learn, always knocking at the door of that knowledge, knowing you are on the other side. there is no password to get to the other side. but i hope that with humility and an earnest documentation of my own travels, i can encourage you to at least look through the peephole an eventually push the door wide open, as your eyes will be when you see what is on the other side. i can promise that i will not quit before i become great at telling the story. and from now on, i am going to refer to myself as a tourist, because that is what i am everywhere i go. someone wise said "a traveler is just a pretentious tourist" and i totally agree.
bananas
ivo cut bananas from a tree. there are at least 40 pounds! then he took the machete and chopped the chunks off the main stalk. they~re all green now but will be good to eat in a few days. we~re going to make banana everything! banana pudding, banana pancakes, fried bananas, banana cake, banana with brown sugar, butter and vanilla ice cream....
i don~t know if bananas would be a good ingredient for caipirinhas, but i am giving up cachaça for a while. i have been waking with migranes and i don~t know if it~s because of the gasoline and paint ivo stores in the garage under the living room, or if it~s the cachaça, so i~ll see.
i don~t know if bananas would be a good ingredient for caipirinhas, but i am giving up cachaça for a while. i have been waking with migranes and i don~t know if it~s because of the gasoline and paint ivo stores in the garage under the living room, or if it~s the cachaça, so i~ll see.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
advice
so, i need advice from you wise people ... especially those who don~t play games and have a deep capacity for love.
i am smitten with someone. i don~t know that he is interested. he knows i exist, but he doesn~t know i like him. this sounds like gradeschool, but he makes me blush every time i see his photo. the problem is, he lives on another continent. i am a firm believer that anything can happen....EXCEPT... you can never make anyone love you. and humans can~t fly. but that~s beside the point. how can i make someone love me??? how do i initiate conversation with someone in this situation? i have always been the agressor, and now, i am timid as a mouse. help!!
i am smitten with someone. i don~t know that he is interested. he knows i exist, but he doesn~t know i like him. this sounds like gradeschool, but he makes me blush every time i see his photo. the problem is, he lives on another continent. i am a firm believer that anything can happen....EXCEPT... you can never make anyone love you. and humans can~t fly. but that~s beside the point. how can i make someone love me??? how do i initiate conversation with someone in this situation? i have always been the agressor, and now, i am timid as a mouse. help!!
Friday, July 3, 2009
a typical day for me (blow by blow)
wake up and have a glass of ice water. go outside on the balcony and enjoy the view. look at the waves. how many surfers can i see? what time is it? is it warm? cold? windy? sunny? cloudy? this will determine what i wear and what i do for the day.
i take a shower which is directly above me and the showerhead doesn~t move. the pressure is good and the water is as hot as i want it to be. the temperature is controlled by twisting a long rod that extends from the showerhead. after the shower, i get into clothes and take some up to the washroom which is just off the front of the house. the washsink is like one you would see in a garage. the detergent comes in a small plastic bag, and i shake some onto the sink and scrub scrub away, then take all the clothes to the balcony to hang dry. i use the surfboard leash to hang the lighter clothes. then? breakfast, my favorite meal of the day.
there is a lot of fruit here so i make a salad with papaya, kiwi, banana, mango and apple with yogurt. sometimes i make toast with cheese. but there are no toasters. i use a long metal-handled tool that has two flat plates that clamp the bread together. i hold it over the stove and as it heats the bread, the cheese melts. then i join ivo in watching a movie or two on the couch in the living room... the couch i will probably have to replace because tb has peed on it. she~s becoming a pain in the ass. we watch what he has which are either war movies, jail movies, or violent capture people-type movies. i tell him in jest that i am going to lock my bedroom door at night.
after one or two movies, he says he~s late to wherever he~s going, which he always does, then spends over an hour getting ready. this is my time to watch tv. watching tv is a very important part of my day. when i watch tv or movies, i learn a lot of portuguese. it~s all in portuguese or subtitled, so i have no chioce but to learn. believe me, there aren~t a lot of channels to choose from. i have fuzzy brazilian music tv, qvc, novelas, news, and the religious channel. i would watch the religious channel if it were some crazy candomblè african voodoo or orixàs jumping around chickens and convulsing, but it~s catholic, of which i am all too familiar. so i watch news. this way, i learn proper portuguese and get to know what~s going on in my country.
after boredom sets in, i go make that long walk to the internet place, which will be gone monday. i will find a new place. the roads are dusty when it~s dry and slippery and muddy when it~s wet. i keep a look outside and at the clock to make sure it~s not dark before walking home. at this time of the evening, many people i know are at the internet place, which is the center of town because it serves as a hostel and restaurant and convenient store. people invite me out. if i decide to go out, this is how it goes...
i go home to eat. i sit around watching more tv. around 7:30, i crave cachaça. i pour one or two drinks or make a caipirinha, then make my way back down in the dark, being more motivated and feeling more relaxed about walking alone. it~s quite safe but i am always aware of my surroundings.
i land at jujubee and lucy~s place, and we jump up and down in a group hug. they make food and caipirinhas, which are plentiful in variety. maracujá, or passion fruit, is my favorite type of caipirinha! maracujà is a fist-sized fruit with a firm yellow skin, as thick as an orange peel but with the smoothness of a baseball. it is cut in half to reveal an orange jelly that holds black seeds resembling watermelon seeds. the jelly is scooped out and eaten raw, or used in pudin (flan or pudding) breads, cakes, caipirinhas, etc. when eaten raw, it~s a strange sensation in your mouth. the jelly slips around and there are harder pods that hold the seeds. the pods pop and the seeds are crunchy and edible. it~s really sweet, and if you haven~t tasted passion fruit, it is a gift from the gods and you~re missing out. delicious! or gostoza as they say here.
another fruit here is goiaba. it looks like a green orange and has a pink inside that is scooped out. the other fruit, and i don~t know the name, is really weird. it looks like a smooth green pinecone, and when cut open, holds a white pudding with pale yellowish seeds. the pudding is really gooey and semi-sweet, but i find it unappetizing.
after a couple shared drinks, we make our way out to a club (just a bar, but they call all the bars clubs). everyone shares their drinks and we talk and dance. we stumble home, laughing, saying we love each other, make fun of each other, and generally do what friends do.
they persuade me to sleep at their house, but there is only one bed they will sleep in. they won~t have it any other way. it~s a brazilian thing. if you all sleep in the same bed, it means you~re friends. so there we are, me, jujubee and lucy all happily alligned in a double bed, and they say "good night my friend". they don~t like not seeing me for more than one day. they think something is wrong. then just before i doze off, juju, in her broken english says "regina, it~s ok when you run away, but i always come to get you. i love you my friend". i say i love you too.
it~s the sweetest way to end the day.
i take a shower which is directly above me and the showerhead doesn~t move. the pressure is good and the water is as hot as i want it to be. the temperature is controlled by twisting a long rod that extends from the showerhead. after the shower, i get into clothes and take some up to the washroom which is just off the front of the house. the washsink is like one you would see in a garage. the detergent comes in a small plastic bag, and i shake some onto the sink and scrub scrub away, then take all the clothes to the balcony to hang dry. i use the surfboard leash to hang the lighter clothes. then? breakfast, my favorite meal of the day.
there is a lot of fruit here so i make a salad with papaya, kiwi, banana, mango and apple with yogurt. sometimes i make toast with cheese. but there are no toasters. i use a long metal-handled tool that has two flat plates that clamp the bread together. i hold it over the stove and as it heats the bread, the cheese melts. then i join ivo in watching a movie or two on the couch in the living room... the couch i will probably have to replace because tb has peed on it. she~s becoming a pain in the ass. we watch what he has which are either war movies, jail movies, or violent capture people-type movies. i tell him in jest that i am going to lock my bedroom door at night.
after one or two movies, he says he~s late to wherever he~s going, which he always does, then spends over an hour getting ready. this is my time to watch tv. watching tv is a very important part of my day. when i watch tv or movies, i learn a lot of portuguese. it~s all in portuguese or subtitled, so i have no chioce but to learn. believe me, there aren~t a lot of channels to choose from. i have fuzzy brazilian music tv, qvc, novelas, news, and the religious channel. i would watch the religious channel if it were some crazy candomblè african voodoo or orixàs jumping around chickens and convulsing, but it~s catholic, of which i am all too familiar. so i watch news. this way, i learn proper portuguese and get to know what~s going on in my country.
after boredom sets in, i go make that long walk to the internet place, which will be gone monday. i will find a new place. the roads are dusty when it~s dry and slippery and muddy when it~s wet. i keep a look outside and at the clock to make sure it~s not dark before walking home. at this time of the evening, many people i know are at the internet place, which is the center of town because it serves as a hostel and restaurant and convenient store. people invite me out. if i decide to go out, this is how it goes...
i go home to eat. i sit around watching more tv. around 7:30, i crave cachaça. i pour one or two drinks or make a caipirinha, then make my way back down in the dark, being more motivated and feeling more relaxed about walking alone. it~s quite safe but i am always aware of my surroundings.
i land at jujubee and lucy~s place, and we jump up and down in a group hug. they make food and caipirinhas, which are plentiful in variety. maracujá, or passion fruit, is my favorite type of caipirinha! maracujà is a fist-sized fruit with a firm yellow skin, as thick as an orange peel but with the smoothness of a baseball. it is cut in half to reveal an orange jelly that holds black seeds resembling watermelon seeds. the jelly is scooped out and eaten raw, or used in pudin (flan or pudding) breads, cakes, caipirinhas, etc. when eaten raw, it~s a strange sensation in your mouth. the jelly slips around and there are harder pods that hold the seeds. the pods pop and the seeds are crunchy and edible. it~s really sweet, and if you haven~t tasted passion fruit, it is a gift from the gods and you~re missing out. delicious! or gostoza as they say here.
another fruit here is goiaba. it looks like a green orange and has a pink inside that is scooped out. the other fruit, and i don~t know the name, is really weird. it looks like a smooth green pinecone, and when cut open, holds a white pudding with pale yellowish seeds. the pudding is really gooey and semi-sweet, but i find it unappetizing.
after a couple shared drinks, we make our way out to a club (just a bar, but they call all the bars clubs). everyone shares their drinks and we talk and dance. we stumble home, laughing, saying we love each other, make fun of each other, and generally do what friends do.
they persuade me to sleep at their house, but there is only one bed they will sleep in. they won~t have it any other way. it~s a brazilian thing. if you all sleep in the same bed, it means you~re friends. so there we are, me, jujubee and lucy all happily alligned in a double bed, and they say "good night my friend". they don~t like not seeing me for more than one day. they think something is wrong. then just before i doze off, juju, in her broken english says "regina, it~s ok when you run away, but i always come to get you. i love you my friend". i say i love you too.
it~s the sweetest way to end the day.
future plans
i think my time with ivo is coming to an end. i will have lived for free for two weeks but when i find a new place to live, i will be living for 1/3 the price of what i was paying before i moved in with ivo. ivo is going to his flat in time square and doesn~t know when he will return so that~s my cue to find a new place.
me, jujubee and lucy are on the lookout. the only problem is lucy has a dog that likes to eat cats. so we~ll see....
as i am always thinking about what i am going to do next, when i start to get bored, i have been thinking i will stay a bit longer here, find a place, pay rent and take off traveling while juju and lucy watch tb. i told them they could even rent out my room while i~m gone and that would be their payment for watching tb. i still want to see a lot in south america....peru, northern brazil near belem, iguazzu, uruguay, paraguay...it~s funny, the people in brazil blame paraguay for the poor quality of electronics. paraguay is like the armpit of south america. it always gets shit on...like bakersfield in california.
anyway, the plan is to return to s.f. in january, visit and stay with friends, work to save more money, and possibly move to paris with my good friend, anne marie. she speaks french and we can teach english there. we would rent a small flat with our savings and go from there. she is one of few people i know who will drop everything to do something memorable, life-changing, follow her dreams, not stop until she~s satisfied. i have found a kindred spirit in her. her family is all french, so she has traveled to france many times. i have been twice. paris once. i don~t like the cold, but i am a trooper and will do what i have to do to survive. and so will she.
me, jujubee and lucy are on the lookout. the only problem is lucy has a dog that likes to eat cats. so we~ll see....
as i am always thinking about what i am going to do next, when i start to get bored, i have been thinking i will stay a bit longer here, find a place, pay rent and take off traveling while juju and lucy watch tb. i told them they could even rent out my room while i~m gone and that would be their payment for watching tb. i still want to see a lot in south america....peru, northern brazil near belem, iguazzu, uruguay, paraguay...it~s funny, the people in brazil blame paraguay for the poor quality of electronics. paraguay is like the armpit of south america. it always gets shit on...like bakersfield in california.
anyway, the plan is to return to s.f. in january, visit and stay with friends, work to save more money, and possibly move to paris with my good friend, anne marie. she speaks french and we can teach english there. we would rent a small flat with our savings and go from there. she is one of few people i know who will drop everything to do something memorable, life-changing, follow her dreams, not stop until she~s satisfied. i have found a kindred spirit in her. her family is all french, so she has traveled to france many times. i have been twice. paris once. i don~t like the cold, but i am a trooper and will do what i have to do to survive. and so will she.
just to clear things up
I~M NOT SLEEPING WITH ANYONE HERE. it~s a rumor the guy started cause he~s a douchebag. i never did anything with him.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
news from brazil
i have been learning crazy things about brazil. oh, and for those of you on facebook, i am not really going to move to durban, south africa.
a couple of years ago, in rio, the gangsters (the militia) initiated a 24 hr hold on the entire city, to prove their strength over the police troops. they gave notice that they would shut down the city, forcing people into their homes and into stores, anywhere but on the streets. when the time came, they made that happen, taking hostage of the city. the kids couldn~t go to school, people couldn~t leave their homes or supermarkets. they were forced out of their cars and surrendered to the control of this elite force that monopolizes the favelas. they had missiles and every type of weapon you could think of. their militia was stronger than the army, and this was to show their power. after 24 hrs, they let everyone go.
this is just how things work in rio. the militia owns the favela. the police don~t. if you want cable tv, you don~t call the cable company. if a cable van is seen in front of your house, you could be killed. you call the militia, and they offer you cable for a cheaper price. some people just opt out of cable completely because they don~t want to put money back into a corrupt society. it has been reported that many drug dealers pay up to $100,000 EACH DAY to be protected by the militia and to deal drugs in the favelas and other dangerous cities throughout brazil.
another bit of news is that i am sleeping with patron, the guy who i held as a protector when i first moved here. yeah, he has been telling people we are together. i am going to tell him the next time i see him that i am pregnant with his baby and i want a pension. haha! that~s the way to play the game.
in other news,
ten men beat up a man at gay pride in sao paulo, a pen triples as a camera and usb cable, indian protest on BR101 (freeway) cutting through their fields, some in clothes, some full with indiginous head pieces. a 9 yr old girl was killed by the family rotweiller, (and this one is funny) someone went to get some stars tatooed on her face, maybe three, and she supposedly fell asleep and the tatoo artist continued to tatoo until she woke up. half of her face is covered in stars. sexual abuse is so common in households that there are prevention commercials, an artist paints an antique car on a street in the middle of sao paulo, people were arrested for false fabrication of name name brand clothes. an entire warehouse was reclaimed. there is a woman here who makes money dressing up dogs and taking photos of them for their owners, a baby was abandoned in a public bathroom, obama kills a fly during interview (you saw that right?) there is a tribute to brazilian singers from the 60~s on tv, including the late carmen miranda.
a couple of years ago, in rio, the gangsters (the militia) initiated a 24 hr hold on the entire city, to prove their strength over the police troops. they gave notice that they would shut down the city, forcing people into their homes and into stores, anywhere but on the streets. when the time came, they made that happen, taking hostage of the city. the kids couldn~t go to school, people couldn~t leave their homes or supermarkets. they were forced out of their cars and surrendered to the control of this elite force that monopolizes the favelas. they had missiles and every type of weapon you could think of. their militia was stronger than the army, and this was to show their power. after 24 hrs, they let everyone go.
this is just how things work in rio. the militia owns the favela. the police don~t. if you want cable tv, you don~t call the cable company. if a cable van is seen in front of your house, you could be killed. you call the militia, and they offer you cable for a cheaper price. some people just opt out of cable completely because they don~t want to put money back into a corrupt society. it has been reported that many drug dealers pay up to $100,000 EACH DAY to be protected by the militia and to deal drugs in the favelas and other dangerous cities throughout brazil.
another bit of news is that i am sleeping with patron, the guy who i held as a protector when i first moved here. yeah, he has been telling people we are together. i am going to tell him the next time i see him that i am pregnant with his baby and i want a pension. haha! that~s the way to play the game.
in other news,
ten men beat up a man at gay pride in sao paulo, a pen triples as a camera and usb cable, indian protest on BR101 (freeway) cutting through their fields, some in clothes, some full with indiginous head pieces. a 9 yr old girl was killed by the family rotweiller, (and this one is funny) someone went to get some stars tatooed on her face, maybe three, and she supposedly fell asleep and the tatoo artist continued to tatoo until she woke up. half of her face is covered in stars. sexual abuse is so common in households that there are prevention commercials, an artist paints an antique car on a street in the middle of sao paulo, people were arrested for false fabrication of name name brand clothes. an entire warehouse was reclaimed. there is a woman here who makes money dressing up dogs and taking photos of them for their owners, a baby was abandoned in a public bathroom, obama kills a fly during interview (you saw that right?) there is a tribute to brazilian singers from the 60~s on tv, including the late carmen miranda.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
quick update
well, i guess i didn~t come to brazil with expectations. i knew i liked the food and that i would learn the language. i am really learing a lot about myself and making good friends. i have painted but not too much. to be honest, i have to really be in the mood. it~s not something i do every day. it~s like writing...you have to have something to say. sometimes i just don~t know where to begin. the longer i stay, the more i believe that home is where the heart is. i really do miss s.f. and friends. i don~t know if brazil is going to be a long term thing. i just crave change and travel, and i don~t see myself settling unless i find an extraordinary person to share my life with.
i have always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. i love being with a person and growing together and loving and being happy together. i hope he finds me :) i have so much to give, and i want more than anything, to share myself with someone who also shows me the same amount of respect and zeal for life. i have always been a happy person. i have my days... but i tend to attract people who suffer from depression, and i~m just over it. i want to be with someone who is happy as well, someone who shines like a beacon, and has a strong sense of self, doesn~t care what other people think and does his own thing, strong and proud. that~s the kind of man i want. honesty, sense of humor and intellect are obvious virtues.
i have not met any men here that i~m interested in other than physical attraction. i~m just not into empty hot making out sessions. that might change. you know, i change my mind daily. i have even kicked around the idea of going to durban, south africa for a while. just for something different. but i am living for free and brazil is cheap. i don~t know how long my living arrangement will last. the guy i~m living with, ivo, is really awesome and generous, but he does move around a lot too. one day he talks about staying in praia do rosa forever, the next, he wants to travel around brazil with me, the next, he wants to move back to london, or portugal, where he is from, the next day he wants to live in his dad~s flat in time square. his dad is really rich and has a bunch of huge houses everywhere. but i can~t keep up with his appetite financially, so i don~t know how long we~ll last as travel partners.
i am getting used to the bugs. if you can~t beat em, join em. seriously, there is no way to get rid of them. i went back to my old house to get a few things and animals had invaded. bugs, rats or mice, and spider nests were there. so i just deal. it~s cold here at night and sometimes during the day. i guess that is the only thing that really surprised me about living here. i thought it would be warmer, but i am in the south. and it~s winter.
i am happy and relaxed here. i am very very healthy, other than the amount of alcohol i consume :) but it is part of the lifestyle here. when in rome....
my headspace is really tranquil. i have all the time in the world to be at peace. i have no problems except some debt. i really am happy and i plan to be renewed by traveling in a new place in the future. i think once i have learned what i think i need to learn here, i will be on my way to explore other horizons. until then, i just take one day at a time and be grateful for this time i have been given to grow.
i have always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. i love being with a person and growing together and loving and being happy together. i hope he finds me :) i have so much to give, and i want more than anything, to share myself with someone who also shows me the same amount of respect and zeal for life. i have always been a happy person. i have my days... but i tend to attract people who suffer from depression, and i~m just over it. i want to be with someone who is happy as well, someone who shines like a beacon, and has a strong sense of self, doesn~t care what other people think and does his own thing, strong and proud. that~s the kind of man i want. honesty, sense of humor and intellect are obvious virtues.
i have not met any men here that i~m interested in other than physical attraction. i~m just not into empty hot making out sessions. that might change. you know, i change my mind daily. i have even kicked around the idea of going to durban, south africa for a while. just for something different. but i am living for free and brazil is cheap. i don~t know how long my living arrangement will last. the guy i~m living with, ivo, is really awesome and generous, but he does move around a lot too. one day he talks about staying in praia do rosa forever, the next, he wants to travel around brazil with me, the next, he wants to move back to london, or portugal, where he is from, the next day he wants to live in his dad~s flat in time square. his dad is really rich and has a bunch of huge houses everywhere. but i can~t keep up with his appetite financially, so i don~t know how long we~ll last as travel partners.
i am getting used to the bugs. if you can~t beat em, join em. seriously, there is no way to get rid of them. i went back to my old house to get a few things and animals had invaded. bugs, rats or mice, and spider nests were there. so i just deal. it~s cold here at night and sometimes during the day. i guess that is the only thing that really surprised me about living here. i thought it would be warmer, but i am in the south. and it~s winter.
i am happy and relaxed here. i am very very healthy, other than the amount of alcohol i consume :) but it is part of the lifestyle here. when in rome....
my headspace is really tranquil. i have all the time in the world to be at peace. i have no problems except some debt. i really am happy and i plan to be renewed by traveling in a new place in the future. i think once i have learned what i think i need to learn here, i will be on my way to explore other horizons. until then, i just take one day at a time and be grateful for this time i have been given to grow.
Monday, June 15, 2009
brazilian music!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCmgJA8rIfc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp7IVMGllUE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3TCwZQmiBg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp7IVMGllUE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3TCwZQmiBg
Sunday, June 14, 2009
MARRIAGE
wow. my ex husband got married. again.
what~s the point after you have taken those "forever" vows question mark here, since i can~t figure out how to use it on this laptop.
what~s the point after you have taken those "forever" vows question mark here, since i can~t figure out how to use it on this laptop.
catching up
i don~t know what is going to happen in jan. for my return flight. i
don~t know where i will be, what i will be doing or what my financial
situation will be. i would like to come back and see friends, make
some money and travel some more. we~ll see.
last night me and friends went dancing and i walked home as the sun
came up. that~s just how they roll here on the weekends. i am trying
to get used to the sleeping schedule, which is all over the place.
also, the times of day they eat is all over the place.
i do have a list of things i could use here, if anyone wants to mail me anything.
but it takes for ever for things to
arrive here, if they do at all. most places here don~t have a number
address so mail is sent directly to the post office then we pick it up
there. in fact, it~s so remote that our grocery store takes online
and phone orders then delivers the groceries to your house. it~s a
great solution, but i think a closer store would be even better. :)
living at ivo~s has been fine so far. we respect each other~s space
and privacy but like hanging out when we do. his friend, debora, from
sao paulo, is a sweetheart, but i think she~s leaving soon because ivo
doesn~t want a relationship with anyone right now. i think her
feelings were hurt. she~s fun to dance with. she~s really sexy and
sweet and has all those wonderful parts that most men adore.
juju and lucy and i are still close, but we don~t see each other as
much unless we see each other out on the weekend. i live a bit far
(25 min. walk) from the main center, so i have not been keeping in
contact with the people i knew before. last night though, we went to
this club (one of the two here) and danced until the sun came up. it
was really beautiful seeing the sun rise over the atlantic. i had
only seen it set on the pacific.
things are well. i need to start teaching soon to save money for more
travel. i look forward to seeing everyone in jan. and i will make a
special effort (if i actually return in jan, whether for good or
temporarily) to see everyone in california, from san diego to s.f.
that~s all the news here for now. still toning and tanning, reading and eating great food.
there is a photo i refuse to post because my parents read my blog. sorry mom and dad. you don~t get to know what it is. don~t worry though. it was done with earnest intentions.
beijos
p.s. me, juju and christine laying out -- i adore this photo
me, juju and ana (the argentinian who makes drums)
they call me "patagonica" for the way i drink cachaca, which is straight, with a chaser of juice. patagonica refers to people of patagonia, argentina, who are very rustic.... i love it. it~s my new nick name!!
who has dibs on sending me stuff??
i
don~t know what is going to happen in jan. for my return flight. i
don~t know where i will be, what i will be doing or what my financial
situation will be. i would like to come back and see friends, make
some money and travel some more. we~ll see.
a little while ago, we went to this club (one of the two here) and danced until the sun came up. it was really beautiful seeing the sun rise over the atlantic. i had
only seen it set on the pacific. i am trying to get used to the sleeping schedule, which is all over the place.
also, the times of day they eat is all over the place.
i do have a list of things i could use here, if anyone wants to mail me anything.
it takes for ever for things to
arrive here, if they do at all. most places here don~t have a number
address so mail is sent directly to the post office then we pick it up
there. in fact, it~s so remote that our grocery store takes online
and phone orders then delivers the groceries to your house. it~s a
great solution, but i think a closer store would be even better. :)
living at ivo~s has been fine so far. we respect each other~s space
and privacy but like hanging out when we do.
juju and lucy and i are still close, but we don~t see each other as
much unless we see each other out on the weekend. i live a bit far
(25 min. walk) from the main center, so i have not been keeping in
contact with the people i knew before.
things are well. i will start teaching soon to save money for more
travel. but i realize i don~t know the first thing about teaching, so ivo and juju are going to help me, as they both have taught english. i look forward to seeing everyone in jan. and i will make a special effort (if i actually return in jan, whether for good or temporarily) to see everyone in california, from san diego to s.f.
movies:
ronin
dead poet~s society
arrested development (show)
hurly burly
fight club
snatch
stranger than fiction
bandits
plein soleil (sp?)
a man and a woma
high fidelity
lost in translation
princess bride
royal tenenbaums
rushmore
amadeus
napoleon dynamite
music:
bjork (telegram, medulla, vespertine or homogenic will do)
beck (sea change, the information, modern guilt, guero)
sergio mendes (collaborative with the black eyed peas)
manu chao (clandestino, rainin in paradise, any will do)
sara tavares, maria montes, diplo, bob marley, coltraine, miles davis, billie holiday, rushmore and royal tenenbaums soundtracks
random tracks:
gotye~s "heart~s a mess"
like a dream , the cure
all possibilities, badly drawn boy
it don~t matter, akon
it was a good day, ice cube
just another girl, pete yorn
sail away with me, david gray
island in the sun, weezer
undone, duran duran
don~t know what is going to happen in jan. for my return flight. i
don~t know where i will be, what i will be doing or what my financial
situation will be. i would like to come back and see friends, make
some money and travel some more. we~ll see.
a little while ago, we went to this club (one of the two here) and danced until the sun came up. it was really beautiful seeing the sun rise over the atlantic. i had
only seen it set on the pacific. i am trying to get used to the sleeping schedule, which is all over the place.
also, the times of day they eat is all over the place.
i do have a list of things i could use here, if anyone wants to mail me anything.
it takes for ever for things to
arrive here, if they do at all. most places here don~t have a number
address so mail is sent directly to the post office then we pick it up
there. in fact, it~s so remote that our grocery store takes online
and phone orders then delivers the groceries to your house. it~s a
great solution, but i think a closer store would be even better. :)
living at ivo~s has been fine so far. we respect each other~s space
and privacy but like hanging out when we do.
juju and lucy and i are still close, but we don~t see each other as
much unless we see each other out on the weekend. i live a bit far
(25 min. walk) from the main center, so i have not been keeping in
contact with the people i knew before.
things are well. i will start teaching soon to save money for more
travel. but i realize i don~t know the first thing about teaching, so ivo and juju are going to help me, as they both have taught english. i look forward to seeing everyone in jan. and i will make a special effort (if i actually return in jan, whether for good or temporarily) to see everyone in california, from san diego to s.f.
movies:
ronin
dead poet~s society
arrested development (show)
hurly burly
fight club
snatch
stranger than fiction
bandits
plein soleil (sp?)
a man and a woma
high fidelity
lost in translation
princess bride
royal tenenbaums
rushmore
amadeus
napoleon dynamite
music:
bjork (telegram, medulla, vespertine or homogenic will do)
beck (sea change, the information, modern guilt, guero)
sergio mendes (collaborative with the black eyed peas)
manu chao (clandestino, rainin in paradise, any will do)
sara tavares, maria montes, diplo, bob marley, coltraine, miles davis, billie holiday, rushmore and royal tenenbaums soundtracks
random tracks:
gotye~s "heart~s a mess"
like a dream , the cure
all possibilities, badly drawn boy
it don~t matter, akon
it was a good day, ice cube
just another girl, pete yorn
sail away with me, david gray
island in the sun, weezer
undone, duran duran
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