news from brazil

i have been learning crazy things about brazil. oh, and for those of you on facebook, i am not really going to move to durban, south africa.

a couple of years ago, in rio, the gangsters (the militia) initiated a 24 hr hold on the entire city, to prove their strength over the police troops. they gave notice that they would shut down the city, forcing people into their homes and into stores, anywhere but on the streets. when the time came, they made that happen, taking hostage of the city. the kids couldn~t go to school, people couldn~t leave their homes or supermarkets. they were forced out of their cars and surrendered to the control of this elite force that monopolizes the favelas. they had missiles and every type of weapon you could think of. their militia was stronger than the army, and this was to show their power. after 24 hrs, they let everyone go.

this is just how things work in rio. the militia owns the favela. the police don~t. if you want cable tv, you don~t call the cable company. if a cable van is seen in front of your house, you could be killed. you call the militia, and they offer you cable for a cheaper price. some people just opt out of cable completely because they don~t want to put money back into a corrupt society. it has been reported that many drug dealers pay up to $100,000 EACH DAY to be protected by the militia and to deal drugs in the favelas and other dangerous cities throughout brazil.

another bit of news is that i am sleeping with patron, the guy who i held as a protector when i first moved here. yeah, he has been telling people we are together. i am going to tell him the next time i see him that i am pregnant with his baby and i want a pension. haha! that~s the way to play the game.

in other news,
ten men beat up a man at gay pride in sao paulo, a pen triples as a camera and usb cable, indian protest on BR101 (freeway) cutting through their fields, some in clothes, some full with indiginous head pieces. a 9 yr old girl was killed by the family rotweiller, (and this one is funny) someone went to get some stars tatooed on her face, maybe three, and she supposedly fell asleep and the tatoo artist continued to tatoo until she woke up. half of her face is covered in stars. sexual abuse is so common in households that there are prevention commercials, an artist paints an antique car on a street in the middle of sao paulo, people were arrested for false fabrication of name name brand clothes. an entire warehouse was reclaimed. there is a woman here who makes money dressing up dogs and taking photos of them for their owners, a baby was abandoned in a public bathroom, obama kills a fly during interview (you saw that right?) there is a tribute to brazilian singers from the 60~s on tv, including the late carmen miranda.

quick update

well, i guess i didn~t come to brazil with expectations. i knew i liked the food and that i would learn the language. i am really learing a lot about myself and making good friends. i have painted but not too much. to be honest, i have to really be in the mood. it~s not something i do every day. it~s like writing...you have to have something to say. sometimes i just don~t know where to begin. the longer i stay, the more i believe that home is where the heart is. i really do miss s.f. and friends. i don~t know if brazil is going to be a long term thing. i just crave change and travel, and i don~t see myself settling unless i find an extraordinary person to share my life with.


i have always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. i love being with a person and growing together and loving and being happy together. i hope he finds me :) i have so much to give, and i want more than anything, to share myself with someone who also shows me the same amount of respect and zeal for life. i have always been a happy person. i have my days... but i tend to attract people who suffer from depression, and i~m just over it. i want to be with someone who is happy as well, someone who shines like a beacon, and has a strong sense of self, doesn~t care what other people think and does his own thing, strong and proud. that~s the kind of man i want. honesty, sense of humor and intellect are obvious virtues.

i have not met any men here that i~m interested in other than physical attraction. i~m just not into empty hot making out sessions. that might change. you know, i change my mind daily. i have even kicked around the idea of going to durban, south africa for a while. just for something different. but i am living for free and brazil is cheap. i don~t know how long my living arrangement will last. the guy i~m living with, ivo, is really awesome and generous, but he does move around a lot too. one day he talks about staying in praia do rosa forever, the next, he wants to travel around brazil with me, the next, he wants to move back to london, or portugal, where he is from, the next day he wants to live in his dad~s flat in time square. his dad is really rich and has a bunch of huge houses everywhere. but i can~t keep up with his appetite financially, so i don~t know how long we~ll last as travel partners.

i am getting used to the bugs. if you can~t beat em, join em. seriously, there is no way to get rid of them. i went back to my old house to get a few things and animals had invaded. bugs, rats or mice, and spider nests were there. so i just deal. it~s cold here at night and sometimes during the day. i guess that is the only thing that really surprised me about living here. i thought it would be warmer, but i am in the south. and it~s winter.

i am happy and relaxed here. i am very very healthy, other than the amount of alcohol i consume :) but it is part of the lifestyle here. when in rome....

my headspace is really tranquil. i have all the time in the world to be at peace. i have no problems except some debt. i really am happy and i plan to be renewed by traveling in a new place in the future. i think once i have learned what i think i need to learn here, i will be on my way to explore other horizons. until then, i just take one day at a time and be grateful for this time i have been given to grow.

brazilian music!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCmgJA8rIfc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp7IVMGllUE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3TCwZQmiBg

MARRIAGE

wow. my ex husband got married. again.

what~s the point after you have taken those "forever" vows question mark here, since i can~t figure out how to use it on this laptop.

FOR SALE

Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

catching up

i don~t know what is going to happen in jan. for my return flight. i
don~t know where i will be, what i will be doing or what my financial
situation will be. i would like to come back and see friends, make
some money and travel some more. we~ll see.

last night me and friends went dancing and i walked home as the sun
came up. that~s just how they roll here on the weekends. i am trying
to get used to the sleeping schedule, which is all over the place.
also, the times of day they eat is all over the place.

i do have a list of things i could use here, if anyone wants to mail me anything.
but it takes for ever for things to
arrive here, if they do at all. most places here don~t have a number
address so mail is sent directly to the post office then we pick it up
there. in fact, it~s so remote that our grocery store takes online
and phone orders then delivers the groceries to your house. it~s a
great solution, but i think a closer store would be even better. :)

living at ivo~s has been fine so far. we respect each other~s space
and privacy but like hanging out when we do. his friend, debora, from
sao paulo, is a sweetheart, but i think she~s leaving soon because ivo
doesn~t want a relationship with anyone right now. i think her
feelings were hurt. she~s fun to dance with. she~s really sexy and
sweet and has all those wonderful parts that most men adore.

juju and lucy and i are still close, but we don~t see each other as
much unless we see each other out on the weekend. i live a bit far
(25 min. walk) from the main center, so i have not been keeping in
contact with the people i knew before. last night though, we went to
this club (one of the two here) and danced until the sun came up. it
was really beautiful seeing the sun rise over the atlantic. i had
only seen it set on the pacific.

things are well. i need to start teaching soon to save money for more
travel. i look forward to seeing everyone in jan. and i will make a
special effort (if i actually return in jan, whether for good or
temporarily) to see everyone in california, from san diego to s.f.

that~s all the news here for now. still toning and tanning, reading and eating great food.
there is a photo i refuse to post because my parents read my blog. sorry mom and dad. you don~t get to know what it is. don~t worry though. it was done with earnest intentions.

beijos

p.s. me, juju and christine laying out -- i adore this photo
me, juju and ana (the argentinian who makes drums)
they call me "patagonica" for the way i drink cachaca, which is straight, with a chaser of juice. patagonica refers to people of patagonia, argentina, who are very rustic.... i love it. it~s my new nick name!!

who has dibs on sending me stuff??

i
don~t know what is going to happen in jan. for my return flight. i
don~t know where i will be, what i will be doing or what my financial
situation will be. i would like to come back and see friends, make
some money and travel some more. we~ll see.

a little while ago, we went to this club (one of the two here) and danced until the sun came up. it was really beautiful seeing the sun rise over the atlantic. i had
only seen it set on the pacific. i am trying to get used to the sleeping schedule, which is all over the place.
also, the times of day they eat is all over the place.

i do have a list of things i could use here, if anyone wants to mail me anything.
it takes for ever for things to
arrive here, if they do at all. most places here don~t have a number
address so mail is sent directly to the post office then we pick it up
there. in fact, it~s so remote that our grocery store takes online
and phone orders then delivers the groceries to your house. it~s a
great solution, but i think a closer store would be even better. :)

living at ivo~s has been fine so far. we respect each other~s space
and privacy but like hanging out when we do.

juju and lucy and i are still close, but we don~t see each other as
much unless we see each other out on the weekend. i live a bit far
(25 min. walk) from the main center, so i have not been keeping in
contact with the people i knew before.

things are well. i will start teaching soon to save money for more
travel. but i realize i don~t know the first thing about teaching, so ivo and juju are going to help me, as they both have taught english. i look forward to seeing everyone in jan. and i will make a special effort (if i actually return in jan, whether for good or temporarily) to see everyone in california, from san diego to s.f.

movies:
ronin
dead poet~s society
arrested development (show)
hurly burly
fight club
snatch
stranger than fiction
bandits
plein soleil (sp?)
a man and a woma
high fidelity
lost in translation
princess bride
royal tenenbaums
rushmore
amadeus
napoleon dynamite

music:
bjork (telegram, medulla, vespertine or homogenic will do)
beck (sea change, the information, modern guilt, guero)
sergio mendes (collaborative with the black eyed peas)
manu chao (clandestino, rainin in paradise, any will do)
sara tavares, maria montes, diplo, bob marley, coltraine, miles davis, billie holiday, rushmore and royal tenenbaums soundtracks

random tracks:
gotye~s "heart~s a mess"
like a dream , the cure
all possibilities, badly drawn boy
it don~t matter, akon
it was a good day, ice cube
just another girl, pete yorn
sail away with me, david gray
island in the sun, weezer
undone, duran duran

new stuff

today was spectacular! gorgeous, perfect day. and it~s not over. ivo, debora and i spent all day laying out on the balcony in the sun. it was mild and warm, and we played the radio. then i made lasagne and we enjoyed a fire. debora has a laptop and although the connection is slower than dial up, i have one here in the house until she leaves. oh, i never mentioned debora. it~s a friend of ivo~s who is visiting from sao paulo. he says the only reason they aren~t together is because she wants to live in the city and he wants to live here. he also insists that i don~t need to stay somewhere else while she is visiting but every time i leave the room and return, they are groping each other. it~s cute but i could pass on sleeping in the room next door if it goes any further.

anyway, here are some new photos i didn~t post before because i have never really had the time.
the last one is ivo making drinks. the third is tb~s second bird catch. the second is just a cute photo i took on the beach. the first photo is our surf. pretty good considering the WCT will be here next week. yay surfers!

i have also been beefing up on my portuguese by watching novelas (soaps, which are crap just like in the states) and the news. the soaps are perfect because they are really simple. the news is great because it~s proper. ay, que vida!

living with ivo

this is the view from my new home.

i have been busy with another transition. i have moved most of my things out of my house and have been living with my friend ivo, from portugal. he~s the one i talked about in a recent post, who, at 32, is retired.

he is an amazing person to know. at 15, he bought a bar in portugal under his mom~s name. he looked 18, so people trusted that he was. he forged her name and worked three jobs to pay the monthly payments, sold the bar five years later and is still living off that sum. he gives his mom money monthly, which seems fair since she had to find out a year after he owned the bar, that money was coming into the account she set up for him. anyway, he proved to be even more ambitious, buying his first house at 20, working for richard branson until he was chief financial advisor. he went on to buy a flat in london and eventually sold it. he is now living here in praia do rosa and turns down every offer to rent his house to tourists, saving his identity and way of life. he gave up the high paying and high profile job to live in paradise. he now trains for marathons, plays cards, toys with his car and goes out.

since i was robbed, i don~t feel safe at home or away from home. my landlord told me he understood if i wanted to move out. ivo offered a room in his home for free, for as long as i want to stay. i can~t morally live for free, so i have been cleaning, which i would do anyway, and keeping him company, which is all he asked of me. his house is quite a bit further from the internet, but it~s large, there are no dogs, and i wake up to million dollar views of the entire beach and mountain every morning. tb is very happy here and it~s safer living with a man.

my laptop has not been recovered even though i spread the word that i want to buy it back. unfortunately, i heard a horrible rumor about "patron", my friend who protects me. he has a cocaine habit and has been known to steal things. it~s very possible that this person i thought was my friend actually broke into my home and robbed me.

i don~t know the future of my living situation. i suppose i can stay iwth ivo until he gets sick of me or something better comes along, which i can~t imagine. hey, i live in a beautiful house with diamond views for free in brazil. i~m enjoying a nice fire he just made and later, we are going out to meet friends. my life has never been this good.

i haven~t started teaching english but i will soon. once i begin, i will save money for travel. ivo and i have tossed around the idea of taking his car and driving all over south america with tb. when we see someplace we want to stop, we stop and stay for as long as we want. i would like to live with him for a bit longer to test our compatibility before committing to a long journey. the good thing about ivo is that he doesn~t need money, so he won~t rob me. he has already shown infinite generosity in letting me live with him for free. i trust him completely. we would probably leave around august. if and when i return to the states, i can leave tb with ivo and come back whenever. i am truly blessed to have this opportunity to grow, learn, live stress free in a healthy environment.

i was robbed!

i went out with friends last night and stayed at their house so i didn~t have to walk home late in the dark. someone broke into my house and stole my laptop and other things. my clothes were on the floor, suitcase checked, mattress unturned, etc. no photos, music or camera cord anymore. :( reality just set in.

teaching english

juju-b got a job working at the best hotel here in rosa. it is on a hill that overlooks the entire beach and lagoon, has all the amenities you would want in a tropical hideaway. she introduced me to the owner, who is paying for private english lessons for herself, husband, and two employees. i will be making far beyond my rent with just 5 lessons per week!

this is only getting better.

reflection

since i have precious time on my hands, i have been reading gandhi~s autobiography and patricia schultz~s 1000 places to see before you die, both of which are immeasurably inspiring and provoke self evaluation.

gandhi was a person in search of his guru, of perfection and undyingly committed to his values. he was a humble man, lover of children and a shy, studius, curious leader. his sense of responsibility to his values and his humility and constant search to find "god" makes me look at my own life and make sure i~m doing it right, which to me, means living for me and loving others in the process.

for me, god is what exists when i am all alone. so putting myself in the middle of nowhere without convenience, friends, or knowing the language, all compiles into a force that breeds creativity and reflection.

1000 places to see before you die is a book my best friend, jenny, got me before i went to brazil a few years ago. i have always flipped through it but now have the time to read its daunting 900 pages. the story of how patricia schultz arrived at her destination is all too familiar. she talks about having the travel bug at a young age, and how travel yields a different experience for each person, most of which is internal. she quotes mark twain who said travel is "fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness", and i can~t agree more. this classroom without walls is a book with no end.

basket

it~s really cute how people think in other languages and how that language translates. lucy was telling me that she accepts and loves her body as it is. she choses to drink and smoke and eat what she wants and her body is a result of that. she~s absolutely gorgeous and not thin by american standards. her attitude is refreshing and her beauty shines from the inside out.

juju-b was telling me that praia do rosa tends to attract the same types of people. crazy ones. which i don~t agree with . but that it has a way of holding you in its arms like a basket. i thought it was so poetic and sweet and kind of sad in some indescribable way.

mysterious grumble

there~s something that has happened twice that scares the life out of me. christine experienced it with me once and it just happened again. it~s a deep, dark grumble coming from the belly of the earth and i don~t know what it is. we don~t have earthquakes here and there are no volcanoes nearby. i don~t know what the sound is but it is tremorous and powerful, lasting about 2 seconds. i fear landslides being that i live on a mountain whose earth commonly washes away. i don~t hear anything after these mysterious scares but the sound of every dog in the neighborhood barking. they~re probably saying what christine and i said to each other when we heard it the first time: "what the fuck was that??"

patron

luis, a 38 yr old guy i met the first day i arrived, has been like an older brother to me. he is very protective. there is a guy who, when giving me a kiss on the cheek as brazilians do to greet eachother, always goes for the lips. it really bothers me, so i wanted to vent and told luis. i asked luis not to mention it but he immediately walks over to the guy, has a brief conversation with him, and the guy apologizes on the spot. i~m not sure what he said to him but it worked!
when men come to talk to me when i~m out and about, luis is right behind me, just watching peripherally while talking to other people. i don~t know why he feels i need to be protected. maybe it~s in his nature. maybe i seem naive. whatever it is, i like it. i have never felt so protected.