calling galleries.....
i am an artist, right? time to get my shit together again. had art shows, i bought a salon at 23, had a car and paid for college while owning the salon and commuting 1.45 hrs both ways. i lived in brazil and am now 35 living on a friend's couch. it's time.
i have many ideas. thinking 12" sqared on wood, pre-columbian figures. images to come.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
in love?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI56fiyre8E&feature=PlayList&p=2D0C3573EAAA5684&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=21
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Stuff I miss. Stuff I'm grateful for
I used to see this guy who's downstairs neighbor was an opera singer. We would hear him in the shower in the morning. i miss that.
Lite-Bright
My 23 yr old body
gymnastics
Smelling like a campfire
building tree houses
My ex's family
George Carlin
(Grateful)
Nicole, Chris, Emily and Marek, who let me live at their houses for free
Health
Comedy/laughing
Sunshine
a job
being able to travel
having a brain that still functions
laughing at myself
my creature comforts
meeting amazing people who change my life
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
admittedly cheesy poem/ conversation with aspen
i wrote a poem for the first time in a long time. i'm not a poet, but i sent it to a friend who is.
so here's the poem and here is the critique.
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
dragging me far away
i see the fields, you're lifting horizons
and i could throw it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
taking it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
there's nothing left to say
open my back door, open my window
to let you in
so i can breathe
breathe you in
then you take it all away
you are coming
coming closer
never saying when
but you'll be here
raging thunder
until the end
Hi, Gina,
I liked your poem / song for several reasons.
First, I felt you got the meter right.
But even more importantly, the imagery is excellent. As in the first stanza:
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
dragging me far away
i see the fields, you're lifting horizons
and i could throw it all away
There's an intriguing flow here. It starts up close, with an image of you (or the reader / listener):
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
Then there's sudden dramatic movement:
dragging me far away
That's followed by an appropriate shift of perspective. The reader can see large things from far away:
i see the fields
But then comes the first really good part. You say:
you're lifting horizons
I used to write about a brand of philosophy that I called "horizontology". It's a real subset of philosophy (also psychology), but it enjoys other formal names than the one I gave it. Foucault's philosophy is associated.
I have always been fascinated by the question of what an horizon actually IS. In theory, an horizon is nothing physical, but in our minds, it's unquestionably real. It's a real place that we go, in our thoughts. For example, it is the place where paradoxes exist: the impossible nothingness that we can name. It is the zero-point line between opposites as well.
I have never heard anyone say "lifting horizons" before. Maybe you have heard that phrase, but I haven't. "Lifting a / my horizoN", yes. HorizonS, no.
When I read that line of your poem, it reminded me of a light drug experience I had a long time ago, where I saw infinite horizons streaming out from a central location. It was one of the most disjunctive episodes of my life, because I had never seen such a thing before. I had always only concentrated on the idea of a single horizon here and there.
I had to wonder: Was this visualization merely a reflection of my own mind's way of thinking -- or could it be that there is such a type of event happening out there in broad reality?
So, I guess I liked this part of your poem for personal reasons, but they're good reasons, and so I felt you generated something good.
Next, you wrote:
and i could throw it all away
Not a remarkable line, but it works with the general emotional atmosphere of the piece. The same could be said of the next parts:
oh, thunder
taking it all
taking it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
there's nothing left to say
I like that. Usually, thunder brings noise and disconcertion (ignore the spell-check, it's a real word, I checked the Oxford Dictionary). But here, you characterize thunder as taking something away. I think that's unusual. I also think it works. I agree with it. In my own experience, there's little left to say, following the happenstance of the uncontrollable. It's just what happens. There's no justifiable call to wrap it in artificial poses of "meaning", just to make ourselves feel better about it.
If you're parroting someone else's lyrics, sorry, I wouldn't know -- I'm way out of the mainstream.
Anyway, you go on:
open my back door, open my window
to let you in
so i can breathe
breathe you in
This part works too, because you leave the name of the actor anonymous: WHO is opening the door? WHO is opening the window? It sounds at first like you're giving a command, but the latter lines suggest that this is what you want, so it could be anyone doing it, or maybe a mix of wills is involved.
then you take it all away
Again, the foregoing ambiguity heightens the emotional tension of this line.
Going on:
you are coming
coming closer
never saying when
but you'll be here
raging thunder
until the end
This is GOOD. You throw all the accumulated presumptions and question to hell with this totally unexpected wildness of perspective. You reveal that the thunderstorm is far away in fact, but immediately close in truth. Then you characterize the two interacting energies as parallel and eternal. Then, you wrap the entirety in a recognition of the human time-dependent condition: We can't help but feel events passing, events coming, events lasting forever, even.
It's a GOOD POEM, Gina. Everything about it works.
If you don't like it, have it your way. I liked it and I'm keeping it.
Love,
Aspen
so here's the poem and here is the critique.
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
dragging me far away
i see the fields, you're lifting horizons
and i could throw it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
taking it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
there's nothing left to say
open my back door, open my window
to let you in
so i can breathe
breathe you in
then you take it all away
you are coming
coming closer
never saying when
but you'll be here
raging thunder
until the end
Hi, Gina,
I liked your poem / song for several reasons.
First, I felt you got the meter right.
But even more importantly, the imagery is excellent. As in the first stanza:
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
dragging me far away
i see the fields, you're lifting horizons
and i could throw it all away
There's an intriguing flow here. It starts up close, with an image of you (or the reader / listener):
i feel your wind, i feel the pull
Then there's sudden dramatic movement:
dragging me far away
That's followed by an appropriate shift of perspective. The reader can see large things from far away:
i see the fields
But then comes the first really good part. You say:
you're lifting horizons
I used to write about a brand of philosophy that I called "horizontology". It's a real subset of philosophy (also psychology), but it enjoys other formal names than the one I gave it. Foucault's philosophy is associated.
I have always been fascinated by the question of what an horizon actually IS. In theory, an horizon is nothing physical, but in our minds, it's unquestionably real. It's a real place that we go, in our thoughts. For example, it is the place where paradoxes exist: the impossible nothingness that we can name. It is the zero-point line between opposites as well.
I have never heard anyone say "lifting horizons" before. Maybe you have heard that phrase, but I haven't. "Lifting a / my horizoN", yes. HorizonS, no.
When I read that line of your poem, it reminded me of a light drug experience I had a long time ago, where I saw infinite horizons streaming out from a central location. It was one of the most disjunctive episodes of my life, because I had never seen such a thing before. I had always only concentrated on the idea of a single horizon here and there.
I had to wonder: Was this visualization merely a reflection of my own mind's way of thinking -- or could it be that there is such a type of event happening out there in broad reality?
So, I guess I liked this part of your poem for personal reasons, but they're good reasons, and so I felt you generated something good.
Next, you wrote:
and i could throw it all away
Not a remarkable line, but it works with the general emotional atmosphere of the piece. The same could be said of the next parts:
oh, thunder
taking it all
taking it all away
oh, thunder
taking it all
there's nothing left to say
I like that. Usually, thunder brings noise and disconcertion (ignore the spell-check, it's a real word, I checked the Oxford Dictionary). But here, you characterize thunder as taking something away. I think that's unusual. I also think it works. I agree with it. In my own experience, there's little left to say, following the happenstance of the uncontrollable. It's just what happens. There's no justifiable call to wrap it in artificial poses of "meaning", just to make ourselves feel better about it.
If you're parroting someone else's lyrics, sorry, I wouldn't know -- I'm way out of the mainstream.
Anyway, you go on:
open my back door, open my window
to let you in
so i can breathe
breathe you in
This part works too, because you leave the name of the actor anonymous: WHO is opening the door? WHO is opening the window? It sounds at first like you're giving a command, but the latter lines suggest that this is what you want, so it could be anyone doing it, or maybe a mix of wills is involved.
then you take it all away
Again, the foregoing ambiguity heightens the emotional tension of this line.
Going on:
you are coming
coming closer
never saying when
but you'll be here
raging thunder
until the end
This is GOOD. You throw all the accumulated presumptions and question to hell with this totally unexpected wildness of perspective. You reveal that the thunderstorm is far away in fact, but immediately close in truth. Then you characterize the two interacting energies as parallel and eternal. Then, you wrap the entirety in a recognition of the human time-dependent condition: We can't help but feel events passing, events coming, events lasting forever, even.
It's a GOOD POEM, Gina. Everything about it works.
If you don't like it, have it your way. I liked it and I'm keeping it.
Love,
Aspen
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
a short converstation between a dear friend and i
he says:
What do you do with yourself?
What do people do with themselves?
Are you on your way to your house on a beach?
What do people do?
I don't know anymore.
i say:
HAHAHA
rhetorical questions?
he says:
You said,
HAHAHA
rhetorical questions?
No, they were real questions. I don't know why I'm throwing them at you, though.
Actually, I abridged the questions in general. The original question, the question that interests me, is "What do enlightened people do with themselves?"
Everyone wants to be enlightened, right? But I don't know anyone -- including myself -- who can give an answer to this question that is better than rote dogma chewing.
The most popular answer is, "They devote their lives to helping other people become enlightened."
I don't trust this answer. It doesn't ring right. It doesn't come off smart or realistic.
I mean, imagine a truly enlightened person: They've seen the illusions for what they are. They now give to each thing its proper place. They've made contact with essential material. And it wasn't easy to get there. They had to be the right kind of person. They had to be willing to sacrifice all of their own knowledge and every form of distraction and pleasure, to get there. Properly speaking, they could not expect necessarily to achieve what they were looking for. But then, they are there.... And how did they get there? How did they make it? Was it because someone helped them? Or was it -- more likely -- because they were determined to achieve it?
Anyway, let's suppose they get there. They achieve enlightenment. What then? Do they rush back into the world and start evangelizing the masses? Or do they evangelize by appointment, operating from a small tent or apartment in Nepal, and blogging with little teaser missives designed to keep the influx of potentially enlightened seekers siphoning through?
Do you think it's possible that the actually enlightened people naturally keep their distance from the whole mess?
Naw. Well, maybe some of the cave-dwellers do that. But there'd be no point to being enlightened if it meant being afraid of society. Or being afraid of anything. They would know better.
So, supposing there's an enlightened person, and they're not afraid to get out there and have a normal life of a type.... What do they do? I mean, does an enlightened person have dreams about a career? What do enlightened people want to do?
Realistically speaking, what would be a meaningful human life for an enlightened person?
Forget life after death. Forget spirits and ghosts and religions. If you stood above it all, and saw it all for what it is, what would you do with yourself?
Personally speaking, I'd keep trying to find new sources of pussy, because it's pretty, and I like the taste. Intimacy is the only thing that I really like about life. I also like espresso ice cream, long walks, afternoon coffee, shit that makes me laugh, and science... but I really, really like some wine and a warm pretty body to screw for about an hour in the morning, and someone to share a view of the scenery. Nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about anyway, when I talk about all this deep stuff. They're like, "I heard Buddha said agoidngae eaaspaepe blah blah blah".
I just laugh. These days, I laugh like crazy. Everything makes me laugh. I love it. It's so pointless. I laugh and laugh and laugh. I appreciate the pussy and everything else makes me laugh: all the people taking themselves so seriously; all the people needing their little games to be played out. I read the news and laugh. I watch movies and roll on the floor at how much energy was spent on creating scenes of violence. I hear lies from official sources and laugh.
Humanity is a pool of assholes, but I appreciate my lovers, and I laugh at everything else, because I know that in fifty years nobody is going to remember even one shave of my life. It's all going to be gone, and I'll either be up there spoiling with the gods or else lost to eternity as one more dead body.
Maybe this is what enlightened people do: They die laughing. They laugh at the screaming people.
So, back to the questions... What do you do with yourself? What do people do with themselves? I can't remember...
Are you having fun yet? No? Still too serious? Join me. We'll have fun. Crazy crazy fun. I'll help you reach enlightenment. I'll give you so many orgasms you won't care what planet you're on anymore. If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.....
i say:
well, i'm not enlightened and i don't know what it means.
i always thought it was a way for people to describe having an epiphany without justice.
meaning...
you realize something without it really meaning anything.
i don't know that everyone wants to be enlightened. i think most people who search for it don't bare the burden of having to deal with real life on any substantial level. you have time to search for enlightenment? sorry, i was working in the fields all day trying to feed my kids.
not that i don't have that privilege. i do. but i also work my ass off when i need to.
what i see when i "think" about people being enlightened is a familiarity with the obvious. something you always knew but had to be reminded. so it's nothing spectacular. i guess i would keep doing what i did, only with more understanding. there is no "way" for them to have gotten there, no understanding. it just happens. but why would anyone keep his distance from the "mess"?
we are all a part of this world, with something to contribute. nothing makes any one person more valuable. more "enlightened". i believe we were are all created equal, and not for religious purposes. we all have something to teach and something to learn. let's do it.
hmm. if i had to sit above my body and contemplate, it would be no different from me contemplating my dreams every morning. some things make no sense. and i'm okay with that. they don't need to. i don't need that closure. there are some things in the universe that are mysterious and i accept that my brain is not big enough to comprehend it. i don't look for answers that either are not there and that aren't approachable. call me a dumb dog.
to call yourself enlightened is assuming you have some superior ability over the minds of men. you are still a man.
and why would you be so afraid of society if you were above it all?
be a part of it. the only difference between humanity and animals is awareness.
said in the wise words of my grandfather, the only reason we are here is to fulfill some niche in the animal kingdom. where is the enlightenment in that?
What do you do with yourself?
What do people do with themselves?
Are you on your way to your house on a beach?
What do people do?
I don't know anymore.
i say:
HAHAHA
rhetorical questions?
he says:
You said,
HAHAHA
rhetorical questions?
No, they were real questions. I don't know why I'm throwing them at you, though.
Actually, I abridged the questions in general. The original question, the question that interests me, is "What do enlightened people do with themselves?"
Everyone wants to be enlightened, right? But I don't know anyone -- including myself -- who can give an answer to this question that is better than rote dogma chewing.
The most popular answer is, "They devote their lives to helping other people become enlightened."
I don't trust this answer. It doesn't ring right. It doesn't come off smart or realistic.
I mean, imagine a truly enlightened person: They've seen the illusions for what they are. They now give to each thing its proper place. They've made contact with essential material. And it wasn't easy to get there. They had to be the right kind of person. They had to be willing to sacrifice all of their own knowledge and every form of distraction and pleasure, to get there. Properly speaking, they could not expect necessarily to achieve what they were looking for. But then, they are there.... And how did they get there? How did they make it? Was it because someone helped them? Or was it -- more likely -- because they were determined to achieve it?
Anyway, let's suppose they get there. They achieve enlightenment. What then? Do they rush back into the world and start evangelizing the masses? Or do they evangelize by appointment, operating from a small tent or apartment in Nepal, and blogging with little teaser missives designed to keep the influx of potentially enlightened seekers siphoning through?
Do you think it's possible that the actually enlightened people naturally keep their distance from the whole mess?
Naw. Well, maybe some of the cave-dwellers do that. But there'd be no point to being enlightened if it meant being afraid of society. Or being afraid of anything. They would know better.
So, supposing there's an enlightened person, and they're not afraid to get out there and have a normal life of a type.... What do they do? I mean, does an enlightened person have dreams about a career? What do enlightened people want to do?
Realistically speaking, what would be a meaningful human life for an enlightened person?
Forget life after death. Forget spirits and ghosts and religions. If you stood above it all, and saw it all for what it is, what would you do with yourself?
Personally speaking, I'd keep trying to find new sources of pussy, because it's pretty, and I like the taste. Intimacy is the only thing that I really like about life. I also like espresso ice cream, long walks, afternoon coffee, shit that makes me laugh, and science... but I really, really like some wine and a warm pretty body to screw for about an hour in the morning, and someone to share a view of the scenery. Nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about anyway, when I talk about all this deep stuff. They're like, "I heard Buddha said agoidngae eaaspaepe blah blah blah".
I just laugh. These days, I laugh like crazy. Everything makes me laugh. I love it. It's so pointless. I laugh and laugh and laugh. I appreciate the pussy and everything else makes me laugh: all the people taking themselves so seriously; all the people needing their little games to be played out. I read the news and laugh. I watch movies and roll on the floor at how much energy was spent on creating scenes of violence. I hear lies from official sources and laugh.
Humanity is a pool of assholes, but I appreciate my lovers, and I laugh at everything else, because I know that in fifty years nobody is going to remember even one shave of my life. It's all going to be gone, and I'll either be up there spoiling with the gods or else lost to eternity as one more dead body.
Maybe this is what enlightened people do: They die laughing. They laugh at the screaming people.
So, back to the questions... What do you do with yourself? What do people do with themselves? I can't remember...
Are you having fun yet? No? Still too serious? Join me. We'll have fun. Crazy crazy fun. I'll help you reach enlightenment. I'll give you so many orgasms you won't care what planet you're on anymore. If that's not enlightenment, I don't know what is.....
i say:
well, i'm not enlightened and i don't know what it means.
i always thought it was a way for people to describe having an epiphany without justice.
meaning...
you realize something without it really meaning anything.
i don't know that everyone wants to be enlightened. i think most people who search for it don't bare the burden of having to deal with real life on any substantial level. you have time to search for enlightenment? sorry, i was working in the fields all day trying to feed my kids.
not that i don't have that privilege. i do. but i also work my ass off when i need to.
what i see when i "think" about people being enlightened is a familiarity with the obvious. something you always knew but had to be reminded. so it's nothing spectacular. i guess i would keep doing what i did, only with more understanding. there is no "way" for them to have gotten there, no understanding. it just happens. but why would anyone keep his distance from the "mess"?
we are all a part of this world, with something to contribute. nothing makes any one person more valuable. more "enlightened". i believe we were are all created equal, and not for religious purposes. we all have something to teach and something to learn. let's do it.
hmm. if i had to sit above my body and contemplate, it would be no different from me contemplating my dreams every morning. some things make no sense. and i'm okay with that. they don't need to. i don't need that closure. there are some things in the universe that are mysterious and i accept that my brain is not big enough to comprehend it. i don't look for answers that either are not there and that aren't approachable. call me a dumb dog.
to call yourself enlightened is assuming you have some superior ability over the minds of men. you are still a man.
and why would you be so afraid of society if you were above it all?
be a part of it. the only difference between humanity and animals is awareness.
said in the wise words of my grandfather, the only reason we are here is to fulfill some niche in the animal kingdom. where is the enlightenment in that?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
A beautiful video of our own Dolores Park
One of the most beautiful places in the world.
http://vimeo.com/11547459
http://vimeo.com/11547459
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
testing out tips of the week for the urban cowgirl blog
How often should someone with curly hair wash her hair?
Well, that depends. But most of the time, the answer is never.
Unless your hair gets incredibly oily, you don't ever need to wash your hair again.
The sebaceous glands are what produce oil in our skin and hair. When you shampoo your hair, even with a moisturizing shampoo, you remove these oils that naturally give moisture to your hair shaft.
The best thing to do, for people who have wavy or course, curly hair, is to apply conditioner at the beginning of your shower. The hair can be detangled with a wide-toothed comb or pick. Leave the conditioner in while you do everything else in the shower. Massage your scalp with the pads of your fingers. This both distributes the oils and removes any dirtiness. Rinse the conditioner with cool water. The cool water will seal the hair shaft, allowing for shine.
When you dry your hair, never rub vigorously on the hair. A simple towel wrap out of the shower is perfect. Rubbing will only frizz your hair. Put a dab of conditioner in your hand and emulsify it like lotion. Then, apply it to your towel-dried hair from scalp to ends, not combing your fingers through your hair, rather "petting" your hair with the conditioner. Make sure you have distributed it through the ends, the most important parts. Then, pick up locks of hair from the ends and twist them in your finger until the curls have locked together. Any professional conditioner will do. It doesn't have to be "leave in". This will keep your hair moisturized throughout the day. In most cases, you don't need a styling product. If you feel you do need more control, you can "cocktail" products by mixing your conditioner with a styling creme. For styling products, I would recommend Redken's All Soft Heavy Cream and Bumble & Bumble's Curl Creme. Redken's Outshine is also a light styling cream with little scent.
Once your hair is dry, you should have soft, shiny curls!
Well, that depends. But most of the time, the answer is never.
Unless your hair gets incredibly oily, you don't ever need to wash your hair again.
The sebaceous glands are what produce oil in our skin and hair. When you shampoo your hair, even with a moisturizing shampoo, you remove these oils that naturally give moisture to your hair shaft.
The best thing to do, for people who have wavy or course, curly hair, is to apply conditioner at the beginning of your shower. The hair can be detangled with a wide-toothed comb or pick. Leave the conditioner in while you do everything else in the shower. Massage your scalp with the pads of your fingers. This both distributes the oils and removes any dirtiness. Rinse the conditioner with cool water. The cool water will seal the hair shaft, allowing for shine.
When you dry your hair, never rub vigorously on the hair. A simple towel wrap out of the shower is perfect. Rubbing will only frizz your hair. Put a dab of conditioner in your hand and emulsify it like lotion. Then, apply it to your towel-dried hair from scalp to ends, not combing your fingers through your hair, rather "petting" your hair with the conditioner. Make sure you have distributed it through the ends, the most important parts. Then, pick up locks of hair from the ends and twist them in your finger until the curls have locked together. Any professional conditioner will do. It doesn't have to be "leave in". This will keep your hair moisturized throughout the day. In most cases, you don't need a styling product. If you feel you do need more control, you can "cocktail" products by mixing your conditioner with a styling creme. For styling products, I would recommend Redken's All Soft Heavy Cream and Bumble & Bumble's Curl Creme. Redken's Outshine is also a light styling cream with little scent.
Once your hair is dry, you should have soft, shiny curls!
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